tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13934210191969552112024-03-14T10:08:37.819-07:00@RightBrainThoughts, theories and themes, by Thom.Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-54831843672315714402014-08-21T14:56:00.004-07:002022-06-20T15:33:48.015-07:00Concrete As Illusion <div class="aboveUnitContent" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, "lucida grande", tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 13.9636px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-top: 15px;">
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<div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><b>From The Runner's Path</b></span></span></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><i style="font-size: 14px;">"Sprained head, here I come."</i></span></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><br /><span style="font-size: 14px;">Just starting to write this hurts...</span><br /><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-size: 14px;"><br />It appears that I'm running toward something that looks a lot like a concrete wall.<br /><br />I know that I can make a choice between options of avoidance. </span></span></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-size: 14px;">They are all variations of stopping and changing direction, and their combinations thereof. </span></span></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-size: 14px;">As long as I remain focused on the solid mass which is the assembly of aggregate pebbles, ground limestone mortar, and a heavy modicum of reinforcing steel bars - there's a headache - dead ahead.<br /><br />One dimensional focus.</span></span></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-size: 14px;">Point taken.<br /><br />But then, I hook a left: </span></span></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-size: 14px;">Suddenly I am at the mercy of 2-dimensional thinking. </span></span></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-size: 14px;">Length. Times. Width.</span></span></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-size: 14px;">The length of the wall, and how far I have to go to regain my heading becomes a significant variable - in minutes.</span></span></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-size: 14px;"><br /><br />Ther's a MULTIVERSE out there!</span></span></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></div><div class="_wk" style="line-height: 20px;"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-size: 14px;">Or, I could just ignore the wall. In an alternate reality it does not even exist. Runners run through it on a regular basis. Writers call it a "block" and bombard it with words. A mime would just create a door.<br /><br />Actually, now that I think about it, this is a picture looking back at the wall I just climbed over.<br /><br />9,310 we don't need no thought control steps.</span></span></div>
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Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-45755057880354195892014-03-10T15:54:00.001-07:002022-02-21T17:01:28.514-08:00About a Million Steps...and more.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit9jr12gDrc_b3LofC-ghxgUqNBH0zxyzvVaj7FdUiHuweIkG9b8Z6Ptnf0a0mBpb2HhQaYmDgUX2-i4OVF6e8i6RvA8tkK3AV2rvYtfm6kOoPMYSFV-1JysDItoy5pUgt6xCpztbCmN1k/s1600/firststep.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="538" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit9jr12gDrc_b3LofC-ghxgUqNBH0zxyzvVaj7FdUiHuweIkG9b8Z6Ptnf0a0mBpb2HhQaYmDgUX2-i4OVF6e8i6RvA8tkK3AV2rvYtfm6kOoPMYSFV-1JysDItoy5pUgt6xCpztbCmN1k/s200/firststep.jpg" width="148" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Taking The First Step (7/23/2011)</td></tr>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-family: "lucida grande", tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;">This is a Chronicle</b><span face=""lucida grande", tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333;"> of my attempts to ready myself to run the Los Angeles Marathon. When I initiated this Photo Album on FaceBook, I was shooting for March 18, 2012. It would have been my 11th Marathon (8th LA) and would have been preceded my 60th birthday by 10 days. I was not successful. </span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">At that time, July 23, 2011, this page was named "A Half million steps or more..." It began this way:
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<i style="color: #333333; font-family: "lucida grande", tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><b>"The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step."</b> </i><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">~Lao-Tzu</span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">They say 5 miles is 10,000 steps. I figure I have about half-a-million to go before this is done.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large; line-height: 18px;"><b>Onward.</b></span></div>
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><b>UPDATE: September 23, 2011<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUjdGKFekjS6ns8s0Msfx9olzQcfdOy-8tZnb4JbepAwLVymVAoPyA86bj4mSvLcZ7Auhp1sl3T9AghLKGvoGptSH5wp8redmiz5k-y29PfG9yu2T-LfCa6OpHX3KFnL7gk7cnqCIcq9o9/s1600/309770_252158274826560_1472105628_n.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="415" data-original-width="960" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUjdGKFekjS6ns8s0Msfx9olzQcfdOy-8tZnb4JbepAwLVymVAoPyA86bj4mSvLcZ7Auhp1sl3T9AghLKGvoGptSH5wp8redmiz5k-y29PfG9yu2T-LfCa6OpHX3KFnL7gk7cnqCIcq9o9/s400/309770_252158274826560_1472105628_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Santa Barbara Wine Country in the Fog (9/2011)</td></tr>
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Since beginning this journey, I have logged nearly 115,000 steps - and that's skipping almost a month of training. My aim was too low. After reworking the data and making a modestly progressive assumption for the months of training to come, I have to restate my goal and change the name of this Album.</span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">"Towards a Million Steps..." Catchy, eh?</span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><b>UPDATE: January 27, 2012</b></span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">I have been sucked in and mired in the reality of working in Los Angeles. The situation is less rosy. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQpRT8zX80xdQ4AutDujr-IeX8PbCXVmaHVAxJQwPUuK8lji7TFZrbSs-9R2r6PvnTjup-9dExlnWT9TVJAwQUNhC4o6LwvAQn77rVDsyFtxLoMWtL_RjrfCwnntRk-G1iqmnPDatBnvd8/s1600/dover.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="968" data-original-width="1296" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQpRT8zX80xdQ4AutDujr-IeX8PbCXVmaHVAxJQwPUuK8lji7TFZrbSs-9R2r6PvnTjup-9dExlnWT9TVJAwQUNhC4o6LwvAQn77rVDsyFtxLoMWtL_RjrfCwnntRk-G1iqmnPDatBnvd8/s200/dover.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dover, DE. 12/11</td></tr>
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">The last run was in Dover, DE just past Christmas. It's been another month since then. I have always had a problem with the Capricorn - Aquarius transit.</span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><b>UPDATE: March 17, 2012</b></span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">As it stands, this year's attempt has ended. I wish all the best to my friend Charlie Bates who IS running tomorrow. This is not the last of it.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipssBkbvpRmCc9JUURmgpIqRVJQlpNbh-nZ7OcPfEyXrjsJz2XDv7VyWlLQkvlmmsSuKFDGgC6aDLbgCcDmG_9kfM05Jzsr8vgJCGOCuGdz15kosHmsHoUBe2DzvjEH_k5Z7gyhTSdGKUM/s1600/548085_372620379447015_1799349067_n.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="717" data-original-width="960" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipssBkbvpRmCc9JUURmgpIqRVJQlpNbh-nZ7OcPfEyXrjsJz2XDv7VyWlLQkvlmmsSuKFDGgC6aDLbgCcDmG_9kfM05Jzsr8vgJCGOCuGdz15kosHmsHoUBe2DzvjEH_k5Z7gyhTSdGKUM/s200/548085_372620379447015_1799349067_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Off the Bench" 4/22/2012</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><b style="color: #333333; font-family: "lucida grande", tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;">UPDATE: Earth Day - April 22, 2012</b></span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">I picked up the baton again. Weight is farther out of the nominal range than last year. the goal right now is to be able to run in next year's LA Marathon. I have almost a year this time to prepare.</span><br />
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<b><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">UPDATE: </span></b><b style="color: #333333; font-family: "lucida grande", tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">June 27, 2012</b><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">A month after my last post and run we have traveled to beautiful Beaver Creek, Colorado for Ashley's Suzuki Violin Institute. It's a special time. A vacation that will most likely never be repeated <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvZKGlUXapZWhQnvX-3w7hvvCGbs9dCCcq-LTKLQCl985MU7OXoPpEY9zN5QET8B2Kna3jI58kPLIEdjvZF4b1qulzhfx8uG-TBQixYKthZdaH8r0E7FYMfedWtG-eSAfYj_MDuXsk8-3L/s1600/beaver+creek.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="999" data-original-width="1600" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvZKGlUXapZWhQnvX-3w7hvvCGbs9dCCcq-LTKLQCl985MU7OXoPpEY9zN5QET8B2Kna3jI58kPLIEdjvZF4b1qulzhfx8uG-TBQixYKthZdaH8r0E7FYMfedWtG-eSAfYj_MDuXsk8-3L/s320/beaver+creek.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;">Beaver Creek - Week of June 27, 2012</span></td></tr>
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</span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Either you walk or take a shuttle to get everywhere up here. </span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">I have charged myself to walk. </span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Walking is so much more rewarding, if not exhausting due to the altitude. As it adds up I'm doing about 2 to 2.5 miles a day.</span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"> By the end of the week I should be feeling something besides light-headed</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3H8ZrAEwyr02hpWDADI7YkA8VFlmFk-8-lusZBmrp6rDytgks6isk3PqAkeuXgb-I7OU6fBeZzzbNWEBGSleIEq6Sd33QURU8JEv7v1EpknJZbIDqoNq2EPFCcYOSVohWEbe-SAUhGcq8/s1600/moon.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="608" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3H8ZrAEwyr02hpWDADI7YkA8VFlmFk-8-lusZBmrp6rDytgks6isk3PqAkeuXgb-I7OU6fBeZzzbNWEBGSleIEq6Sd33QURU8JEv7v1EpknJZbIDqoNq2EPFCcYOSVohWEbe-SAUhGcq8/s320/moon.jpg" width="201" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Last Evening on the Mountain Moon <br />
July 1, 2012</td></tr>
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">At the end of the week on the mountain and after the drive back, I have managed to keep it on the road through July and August. I'm starting to see some results in the mirror again. All the time I have to run is being provided by the fact that Ashley is not in school yet. I hope I can keep it up even when that big scheduling hit occurs. We'll see. Won't we?</span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">(<b>NOTE: </b>Beginning August 19, 2012, there is an Interim in which exists one post from Thanksgiving Day, November 22, 2012 when it looks like I tried to get off the proverbial bench again. I did, but for just that day.)</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"The Tools of Dispair"</td></tr>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-family: "lucida grande", tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><br />UPDATE: April 13, 2013 </b><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">I have picked up the tools of despair once more.</span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><b>UPDATE: September 27, 2013</b></span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">This time around I am more confident that I am on the correct path. I am - and this has not been the case for 12 years - finding the time, shoehorning it TO get out and run instead of using excuses to keep me inside on my duff. </span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">I also believe that I'm getting a little better at telling the story with the photographs. i should probably let you be the judges of that. </span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">Also, I have stopped drinking alcohol, something I have tried to do on several occasions in my past with varying levels and duration of success. By publicly stating it, I am attempting to manipulate the outcome of this excursion without the need of "meetings". </span><br />
<i style="color: #333333; font-family: "lucida grande", tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><b><br />"That's all I'm going to say about that."</b> </i><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">~Forrest Gump</span><br />
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<b style="color: #333333; font-family: "lucida grande", tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 17.9972px;">UPDATE: October 1, 2013 </b><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">It may be a dream, but I have read that "A Goal is a Dream with a due date." </span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">This Dream is due:</span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"> Sunday, March 9, 2014 at 7:35AM. I'll keep you up to date.</span></div>
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 17.9972px;">On the day the Government grinds to a standstill, I decide to keep things moving. I registered for the L.A. Marathon. </span></span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><br /></span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><b>UPDATE: December 1, 2013</b></span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">I have passed a million steps. I passed a million steps 50,399 steps ago...About a week ago. No whistles blew. No bells rang. No lightning bolt struck from high Olympus. A milepost is no longer before me. </span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"></span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><b>To this all I say, "Onward."</b></span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><b><br /></b></span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>PS: I have re-renamed this blog - "About a Million </b></span></i></span><i style="color: #333333; font-family: "lucida grande", tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Steps...and more."</b></span></i><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Run-up to a Run <br />
(FaceBook Post, one week prior to Marathon.)</td></tr>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-family: "lucida grande", tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;">FINAL UPDATE and EPILOGUE March 11, 2014</b><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">This past Sunday, I finished in the 29th running of the Los Angeles Marathon. It took me 6 hours and 21 seconds (give or take) to cover the required 26.2 miles of the course "From the Stadium to the Sea".</span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Actually it took 2 years and a little over 8 months to travel my personal course. There was ultimate success in this, and some failures along the way. I shall endeavor to celebrate the success and learn from the failures. </span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">It is complete. The miles have been run. The goal has been reached. A page turns.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHMGL4EXbUf3EanR4hz9e3HrHp0mS37Y98nav7nk7sZOUJMrJcLIaYVLCXUU9V8pWUUs1HRBv4_vyIIc5W5oquYnoFSK5ECV83ngqyXmkwGgdWsz9PMu2fdkFUyK9bAJ_UXft9B5oiygIW/s1600/racestart.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="134" data-original-width="960" height="88" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHMGL4EXbUf3EanR4hz9e3HrHp0mS37Y98nav7nk7sZOUJMrJcLIaYVLCXUU9V8pWUUs1HRBv4_vyIIc5W5oquYnoFSK5ECV83ngqyXmkwGgdWsz9PMu2fdkFUyK9bAJ_UXft9B5oiygIW/s640/racestart.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgARuBQjQIxOSqmnSkBMmr8SnsAfL2fCZ7jXWcv2F-WMzAZe9rt60RCch4k4vZn6kXd6aFVnOQmgaoIcgPo6f93_p-LKOHO6lzAHTR8TZXZf_ul7iRI63sPYx4luaTGQ6Pmeh1Mhj7tALS3/s1600/elvis.jpg" style="background-color: white; clear: right; display: inline; float: right; font-family: "lucida grande", tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgARuBQjQIxOSqmnSkBMmr8SnsAfL2fCZ7jXWcv2F-WMzAZe9rt60RCch4k4vZn6kXd6aFVnOQmgaoIcgPo6f93_p-LKOHO6lzAHTR8TZXZf_ul7iRI63sPYx4luaTGQ6Pmeh1Mhj7tALS3/s200/elvis.jpg" width="150" /></a><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">Along the way on Sunday, I was evangelized via bull horn and loudspeaker at least 4 times. I was passed by three blind runners being guided by their hosts (Amazing!), passed by Gumby (Wierd!), hosed down by kindly bystanders along the route just exactly at the precise moments it was needed most. I kibitzed with five of the 182 "Legacy runners" (those who have run in EVERY LA Marathon since 1986), </span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">Of even greater note, I ran alongside a group of Elvis impersonators for a way. </span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">(one of whom has run 50 Marathons - I don't know which practice makes him crazier: the running or the Cosplay.) </span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333;">And, though I have never carried on a conversation about how cool the Kardashians are or how much an inspiration Bruce Jenner is, engaged in JUST that conversation for about a quarter mile of Sunset Boulevard with another runner... foreign, as evidenced by his selective use of English terms such as "Hollywood?" as he pointed up Sunset towards the Roosevelt Hotel... (I said, "Yes!") and "Kardashians!", this he uttered with a knowing smile and a nod as though to make me assured he knew ALL about Hollywood. (I said that I doubted the Kardashians were anywhere near today's festivities, but he continued...) "Bruce Jenner! Great athlete!" (To this I agreed. His 1976 Decathlon Gold made him a national hero...) He then launched into a listing the rest of the Kardashian spawn and their exploits as though he was reciting an epic poem.</span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">All I needed to do was speed up a little. Oxygen choices. </span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">There was heat. Lots of heat. "Oppressive heat," said the news reports. One of the hottest marathons on record. Topped off at 88 degrees. But for some reason, that wasn't my biggest challenge of the day. I have Susan to thank for that. She had given me a really nice "Under Armour" shirt for a birthday (maybe Christmas) years ago. It is made of some special fabric that both clings to you and "wicks" the perspiration away from you and it's supposed to be great for this type of activity. I had never worn it. It was very... stretchy and... body-fitting and I felt WAY too self-conscious even putting it on. But I decided to christen it for my big day. Turned out to be a good choice, because the event tee-shirt that the Marathon folks gave to us was just loose enough to allow some air circulation under it, at the same time ITS own wicking properties really made the combination of the two garments a kind of an air conditioner. I felt positively cool throughout the race. Big thanks to </span><a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=1544572645&extragetparams=%7B%22directed_target_id%22%3A0%7D" href="https://www.facebook.com/susan.spadaro.5" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: "lucida grande", tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-decoration: none;">Susan Spadaro</a><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"> for saving my bacon on that one.</span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Now if only we could have done something about the oppressive gravity on the course.</span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">But then there was the finish line. The glorious finish line by the glorious sea. The glorious finish line by the glorious sea with my glorious family waiting right there for me. I had been counting down the miles since halfway along (yes I know that's not the best practice) but now it was in sight...out of focus...but in sight. And just beyond that - after the medal and the mylar blanket - was the biggest prize. Susan and Ashley had braved the crowds and the traffic and all the hullabaloo to greet Daddy as he finished the grand and crazy thing he'd been working on so long.</span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">I didn't get as many pictures of the race as I'd hoped I would. A final flurry of images to round out the Lookback Movie of this album (if Facebook ever releases the technology to produce one of those precious little vignettes for our customization) would have been nice. I did get a few and have posted most. One or two may yet find their way here. </span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">If you have been following my posts in this quest/personal challenge, I want to thank you. It really is astounding what that little "thumbs up" icon can do for a person. Had it not been for that, your supportive comments, some gallows humor, and the ultimate humiliation of failing publicly, (I say that with the requisite "Smiley Face" attached) this would have been a much shorter blog. </span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><b><i>Expression of Humble Appreciation.</i></b></span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><b>THE FINAL STATS:</b></span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQEeNYXYdg5KIVr8TUa7FR_NBU35HRTi6QKyLCqLwlZr3FzJGRLKPzYNxjbN6Jm0OVJJM07zxKDiejSB8DbmeGbTYiU7Fw1TKaJoc2dFDQjqNkW2ArVcFlcHgnj3ejKcQvAYeugnDzqAeJ/s1600/1911607_679095685466148_513717657_n.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQEeNYXYdg5KIVr8TUa7FR_NBU35HRTi6QKyLCqLwlZr3FzJGRLKPzYNxjbN6Jm0OVJJM07zxKDiejSB8DbmeGbTYiU7Fw1TKaJoc2dFDQjqNkW2ArVcFlcHgnj3ejKcQvAYeugnDzqAeJ/s1600/1911607_679095685466148_513717657_n.jpg" width="237" /></a><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Since the first recorded workout I posted on Humana Fit (now called Map My Fitness)</span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">...in exactly 200 posted workouts</span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">881.33 miles covered</span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">217 hours 40 minutes 18 seconds invested</span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">150,021 calories burned (total net loss of 85.3 pounds after gaining back a year ago)</span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><i><b>...and 1,640,308 STEPS.</b></i></span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">The next journey begins right now.</span><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">ONWARD.</span></b></span><br />
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">Here's a link to the whole story with all the pictures and commentary.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">https://photos.app.goo.gl/PZh4GA6Hvt3PciUu5</span></div>
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<span face=""lucida grande" , "tahoma" , "verdana" , "arial" , sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 12.8px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-74849232521178890412012-11-22T10:51:00.002-08:002012-11-25T21:59:43.619-08:00Foul It Is, to be Raised For a Glutton's Feast(Blatantly Stolen from FaceBook)<br />
<br />
Foul it is, to<br />
be raised... so, <br />
that gluttons might<br />
feast; on, but the white<br />
of my breast... while, <br />
they toss the rest!<br />
<br />
Millions and millions,<br />
force fed to burst; such<br />
a shame, as a pheasant<br />
or Cornish game hen... would<br />
provide, more that enough...<br />
meat, and gristle; to satiate<br />
even, the most finicky of <br />
peasant!<br />
<br />
Then, there's potatoes, and<br />
yams; steamed and boiled to<br />
distraction, while the "cook" makes<br />
themselves sick; drinking cooking sherry<br />
by the gallon!<br />
<br />
Green bean casserole; it's Gramma's<br />
favorite... though, year after year; all<br />
the guests, just hated it! With, carmelized<br />
onions; that "look" like worms, so the<br />
kids tease each other... then, feed<br />
them... to the dog!<br />
<br />
The potatoes mashed, always taste <br />
"burned to a crisp"; "but honey, <br />
that's the best part... just <br />
bite down, chew, and swallow it!"<br />
<br />
Is it, cranberry jellied; or, more like a<br />
chutney? Guess, I'll just have plenty of<br />
both... and, let the fickle ones; decide on<br />
their own flacid gluttony!<br />
<br />
There's always a fight, for the<br />
drumsticks for two... Maybe, someday...<br />
the growers, will develop a turkey<br />
with six to a bird; just for the sake of<br />
making the food pugilists happy!<br />
<br />
Gravy, always comes in two styles...<br />
cold, clammy, and greasy... or, tasteless,<br />
clumpy and lumpy; tasting, alternately...<br />
of grease or of pork!<br />
<br />
Stuffing, stuffing, who wants stuffing... goes<br />
the cry 'cross the table; there's just a little that<br />
was in the bird, but several oven baked pans...<br />
<br />
Hey! Keep those OFF the table! Then, there's<br />
corn and peas; in separate bowls... that, <br />
make the kids always giggle; as they roll off<br />
the table!<br />
<br />
Then, there's dinner rolls; and both sweet<br />
and salt butter tabs... take more than two<br />
per roll, and "suffer extra holes in belts, and<br />
double roll abs!"<br />
<br />
Sweet potatoes, baked with marshmallow clumps;<br />
look like "dead eyes", staring into the void... oh,<br />
what a ghostly repast!<br />
<br />
So... what did I forget, besides the desert treats?<br />
Somebody please tell me, before somebody blesses<br />
this feast!<br />
<br />
Oh, beverages... help yourself... There's glasses, on <br />
a separate table; along with silver bowls filled with <br />
ice; "please! USE the tongs!" There's sodas and wines,<br />
and juices galore; please "pour slowly"... don't want, a<br />
sticky floor!<br />
<br />
Somebody please, say grace... then "help yourself"! I'm<br />
already full, 'cause I tasted everything; while playing at<br />
gourmet chef! Breeeeep! Oooops! I'm just saluting all<br />
of you'res health! *Sigh! L'triptophan, lead me to sleep!*<br />
<br />
11-18-12<br />
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2012 Copyright Zed Null & Word Hack, Ltd.<br />
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Feel free to copy and share, provided nothing is changed; and this accreditation remains attached!</div>
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Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-27972100987603464422012-11-03T15:31:00.001-07:002012-11-03T15:36:00.684-07:00Yes, Abigael, it WILL all be over soon.For those of you who are not one of the 1.6 million viewers of a YouTube video starring a 4-year-old Colorado girl named Abigael Evans, who awww'd us all with her tearful lament that she was "Tired of [the coverage of] 'Bronco Bama' and Mitt Romney" on <b>National Public Radio</b> - here's what you missed:<br />
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Her mother is heard on the video to be attempting to console the child by telling her that the election will be over soon. It calms her a little. <br />
<br />
<b>Show Tracker </b>of the <i>Los Angeles Times</i> reports young Abby's spirits have further been bolstered by none other than <b>NPR </b>correspondent Mark Memmott himself, who wrote on the organization's website, "On behalf of <b>NPR </b>and all other news outlets, we apologize to Abigael and all the many others who probably feel like her. We must confess, the campaign's gone on long enough for us, too. Let's just keep telling ourselves: 'Only a few more days, only a few more days, only a few more days.'"<br />
<br />
The Times goes on to say that <b>NPR </b>also sent the girl an <b>NPR </b>politics pin, which, according to a reporter from <b>NPR </b>station <b>KUNC</b>, seems to have cheered the girl up tremendously.<br />
<br />
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I suppose, in that sentiment, we can all take solace.<br />
<br />
It feels as though it has been a lifetime since April 21, 2011 when Gary Johnson announced - on <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twitter">Twitter</a> no less - "I am running for president." He was the first to declare and the fourth to eventually leave what was to become a field of twelve Republican candidates writhing their way toward the GOP convention more than a year and a half later. For the record, the rest of the names were - in order of their entry into the race - Cain, Gingrich, Paul and Pawlenty; Romney, Santorum, Bachmann and Huntsman; McCotter, Perry and Roemer. Some fell quickly. Others were tripped up later. Before reaching the Convention at Tampa, all but Paul and Romney had fallen along the road. <br />
<br />
After 478 days of campaigning for the GOP nomination for President of the United States, two men entered "Tampa-Dome". One man left: Willard Mitt Romney.<br />
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478 Days! And that was only to the Republican Convention. There was still nearly 3 months to go before election day. All in all, 565 days will have been spent literally brawling for the chance to go up against "Bronco Bama" for President. That's almost half the time poor Abby's been here on this planet!</div>
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I haven't even mentioned how much time Mr. Obama has had to take away from his duties as the leader of the free world to meet the challenge brought by the opposition, and keep his job. </div>
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(And thank you SCOTUS for making it even more like blood-sport by adding that little wrinkle of the so-called "Citizen's United" decision. You just couldn't leave bad enough alone without adding <i>UNLIMITED </i>corporate funding to the election stew. As if we, living our shabby little lives, needed more incentive to believe we were completely impotent in the ability control our own political destiny. That the government of the People, by the People, and for the People survives only because its it's the Corporations who are the People.)</div>
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Oh, let's not forget the whole "early voting" thing. <br />
<br />
Anyway - yes, Abigael, it will all be over soon. Next Tuesday is Election Day and that's when the counting begins. <br />
<br />
Of course when, the counting will end is anyone's guess at the moment. Both camps are lawyering up rather heavily. Something akin to the Y2K Bush v. Gore mishegoss could happen again this year if the legal eagles have anything to say about it. But that's another very long story...<br />
<br />
All we can do is all we can do. Turn out. Bring your ID with you even if you don't think it's necessary. Pull the lever. Fill in the dot. Touch the screen. Punch the chad - all the way through! Vote! Get 'er done! <br />
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And when it's all over, and Abby can listen to her programs again, by the time she's six the whole thing starts all over again.</div>
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Ain't democracy grand?<br />
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Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-41563828293512510342012-09-14T14:40:00.003-07:002013-07-31T15:56:24.303-07:00We tell the story this way: PART 1<br />
We tell the story this way:<br />
<br />
It was in my home town of Ithaca, NY. 1980 or so.<br />
<br />
I had already been "out and back" - which means just that: I graduated high school and moved out. I went to college and went to work. I moved to Syracuse; moved to Boston; moved to Fort Lauderdale; moved to Lansing, Michigan; moved to New York City and then I moved back home again to live with my parents to review my situation. Voila: "Out and Back".<br />
<br />
Along the way in my American Walkabout, I had developed a hankering to be on stage portraying characters other people have created. I enacted scenarios of dramatic import for the entertainment of groups of patrons who would suspend their realities for measured lengths of time. I stumbled, bumbled, mumbled and grumbled under the guise of art.<br />
<br />
I believe the word "Acting" serves as an omnibus label in all the above pursuits.<br />
<br />
Following that vein, I was appearing in a play called “The Runner Stumbles” by Milan Stitt at The Central Casting Theatre; a light hearted romp about a Catholic priest on trial in rural 1911 Michigan for the murder of a nun with whom he is also alleged to have been romantically involved. Like I said: a total fluff piece.<br />
<br />
I played the priest: Dark, brooding, unsympathetic.... and those were the <i>good</i> reviews.<br />
<br />
A couple of the other characters were acted by students from Ithaca College's famous Television and Theatre department. One of them counted as one of his friends, a Sophomore in Fine Arts - Acting... a student named Susan. <br />
<br />
We did not meet that night.<br />
<br />
Months passed.<br />
<br />
She was stage managing a production of “Mame” for the Ithaca Theatre Company and she needed someone to play an older, stuffed‐shirted, stick‐in‐the‐mud, <i>non-singing</i>, party‐pooper in the show. None of her friends filled the bill, but then she remembered me and my dark, brooding, etc. performance in the play she had come to see months earlier. She called Central Casting and got the phone number I had given them. It was my parent’s house where, as I have mentioned, I was living at the time.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFe4mvLmurI2Ps0uKR5FvHZKxE4t85XVk9ZFOd2qk3xUdjYPignOEWn97lIxaxezUFApSSW64uXaobk0w2ACCfCWcE0xJJvPSutWzLDSKWXXtnVE14euJzB7QXRYHuDWeYG4ibCKVMF_Wn/s1600/schoolbus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFe4mvLmurI2Ps0uKR5FvHZKxE4t85XVk9ZFOd2qk3xUdjYPignOEWn97lIxaxezUFApSSW64uXaobk0w2ACCfCWcE0xJJvPSutWzLDSKWXXtnVE14euJzB7QXRYHuDWeYG4ibCKVMF_Wn/s320/schoolbus.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
The next day, I received a message left from my father at the school bus facility where I was performing daily as a "School Bus Driver". No, really, I was driving a school bus for a living. Maybe I'll relay some sappy stories from that episode later on. The message, in my father's shorthand delivery, was: "Some girl called to find out if you want to try out for a play. Do you want her number?"<br />
<br />
I did. He gave it to me. I called her. I showed up. She gave me the part. Things began to change.<br />
<br />
That's how we tell the story of how we met: Girl sees Boy in play. Girl hires Boy for another play. Girl and Boy get married and live happily ever after.<br />
<br />
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I leave out part of the story?<br />
<br />
Well then, tune in for another installment of "We tell the story this way" coming
soon to a blog near you!Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-42264453780037306072012-09-01T23:00:00.000-07:002013-09-30T11:21:36.752-07:00An Open Letter to my FaceBook Friends Regarding the "Tea Party"<br />
A recent exchange on my FaceBook page centered around a clip which I posted from "The Best Damned Show on Television Which Is Shown on a Network That I Don't Subscribe To" - AKA: "The Newsroom" on HBO... <br />
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... In it (if you didn't "have time" to watch the clip) anchorman Will McAvoy delivers a scathing and painfully truthful treatise on the state of politics in America; which - it should be noted - he delivers from the point of view of a Repubican - himself. He is railing against the "Tea Party" under whose influence we are, all of us in America, suffering. <br />
<br />
<br />
It's tenets: (through Aaron Sorkin's words)<br />
-Ideological purity<br />
-Compromise is weakness<br />
-A fundamentalist belief in scriptural literalism<br />
-Denying science<br />
-Unmoved by facts<br />
-Undeterred by new information<br />
-A hostile fear of progress<br />
-Demonization of education<br />
-A need to control women's bodies<br />
-Severe Xenophobia<br />
-Tribal mentality<br />
-Intolerance of dissent<br />
-Pathological hatred of the U.S. Government<br />
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />
<br />
Well, one of my FaceBook friends took issue with the post and saw fit to suggest I had my "head up my ass" for sharing it. At least I think that was why he said that. It wasn't actually clear to whom he was responding with his jab. <br />
<br />
My point is this, FaceBook is the BBS of the 21st century.<br />
<br />
"Huh?" you may wonder. "What is this BBS you speak of?"<br />
<br />
"...of which you speak, " I would respond.<br />
<br />
To which you would most likely rejoin, "Whatever!"<br />
<br />
And then I would explain that BBSes were pre-internet message boards where targeted discussions would take place by "users" posting comments on an electronic "Bulletin Board" which was hosted on some geek's home computer and networked with other geeks to foster widespread group discussions. Myself being one of said geeks, I hosted a BBS called "the Outpost" and caused my wife great concern for more than 5 years in the late 80's and early 90's. <br />
<br />
But, returning to the point... during many of these soaring conversations a certain faction of users would enjoy inflaming the discussions by posting personal insults and downright impolite language to get a rise out of the others on the board. These "Flamers" were, for the most part, anarchists, the equivalent of electronic "bomb throwers" who enjoyed making a mockery of civil dissertation. They were not accepted in polite virtual society; and we, who sought to run high class establishments in the wild-internet-west of the last century - by the power vested in us, the SysOp's - would simply delete them from our userlists. They would virtually vaporize.<br />
<br />
Of course there was no way of knowing when they would join the BBS again under a different name, until I began to recognize certain verbal patterns when they started to get frisky again. It was a tough life in the wild-internet-west.<br />
<br />
But, that was then, this is now. Now we have FaceBook, Twitter, Google+ and all the other social networking iterations of the modern internet. FaceBook itself has nearly a Billion "users" all interacting in their spheres of influence, sharing and commenting and "liking" what each other posts on each other's pages. A lot of stuff goes around on FaceBook and the others in the course of a nano-day. Some of it is, admittedly, superfluous fluff. (If I see one more cute kitten meme I think I'm going to fwow-up - but oh-so-cutely.) Yet there is some powerful messaging going on as well; and in a presidential election year, the social internet is the Almighty Conduit. <br />
<br />
The Conduit is where people of differing political ideals are interacting at a pace that far exceeds anything this country, indeed the world, has ever seen prior to this. The "Twittersphere" is credited with informing the world about what happened in Tunisia, Egypt, Libya and Yemen during the "Arab Spring" last year. People in the thick of things that otherwise would have had no hope of ever letting the rest of us know what they were going through, put all of us front row center in it by virtue of a few taps on their internet connected device. It is was... (<i>is he going to say it?</i>)...a "by Gawd" miracle. (<i>Damn, he said it!</i>)<br />
<br />
That being said, the Conduit also carries stuff that is, for lack of a better word, ungood. Factions that use it use the anonymity afforded to them by it to propagate a counter message of an anti-societal tone. The trouble is, as we comb through the rhetoric and sheer volume of words and images, it becomes nearly impossible to filter noise from sound anymore. Music from discord. Beauty from indifference. Truth from lie. Right from wrong.<br />
<br />
Where are the lines? How are they drawn? <br />
<br />
Who's truth wins? <br />
<br />
Once upon a time, there were the facts and there was the fiction. The facts were the Truth. The fiction was the Lie. The Truth was right. The Lie was wrong. There was this whole "Bearing false witness..." thing from those "Commandments" to deal with. Now, not so much. People believe whatever they read on the internet these days. They think: "Since someone spent the time, and went to all the trouble to put it all in print somewhere, then it must be true, right?" Even smart people fall into the trap. What happens is they need a truth to believe in so they pick a set of fictions that are close to what they already believe, and that becomes their truth.<br />
<br />
I don't know if this is indigenous to our century or not. Probably not. But it's a lot easier to find a bunch of new fictions to latch on to these days. And, here's the rub: in America, it's all protected. <br />
<br />
And it's okay.<br />
<br />
Here's the other rub: it's up to us to do our own homework. WE have to do the work to really discern between the good stuff and the gunk. Opinions are as plentiful as speakers. The facts are researchable and unique. Caveat lector.<br />
<br />
So, since as far as I know the First Amendment still stands, everyone is entitled to their beliefs and so are any who may want to comment on my humble FaceBook posts and pages. It's one of the things I love about this social-networking thing. It reminds me of the soaring conversations of the wild-internet-west of long ago. Some great ideas were exchanged then, and some really fantastic futures are emerging now from the same type of intercourse. I love it! <br />
<br />
As I understand it, the "Tea Party" does not. <br />
<br />
As previously stated (with confidence high) the "Tea Party" stands unmoved by such things as facts. They adhere to an ideology that they cannot see around. They also tend to be very loud, in a digital print kind of way, in denigrating opposing opinions from theirs. No truth but theirs, facts or not. <br />
<br />
Again, that's alright. First Amendment, and all that. But I also have the right to at least request civility in the discussion. I don't expect it. I'm not the SysOp anymore. You can say whatever you want, and unless I think it has crossed the line and begins to insult those of my friends who may agree with me for what they add to the discussion, I suppose falsehood can be tolerated to a point, as long as the truth prevails. I can assume the mantle of Supreme Protector in my virtual world if I want. I can't vaporize transgressors, but I do have weapons: History and the Truth.<br />
<br />
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<br />Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-85320383732614956392012-08-26T15:27:00.002-07:002012-08-26T20:48:00.841-07:00Jack Noir: Time Cracker<br />
This document is a production radio script for a segment of "Barley Corne’s Hour Of Wasted Time" (alternately spelled: Thyme), broadcast over the National Broadcasting Network on the evening of June 14, 1949. The popular radio show which, on this occasion, was filmed by an NBN Television crew for an experimental broadcast, was briefly interrupted by interference from an unidentified source and the visual record of certain segments, including this episode of the popular Jack Noir: Time Cracker series,
did not survive.<br />
<i></i><br />
<div>
<i><i><br /></i></i></div>
<i>
(Editor’s note: “Barley Corne’s Hour of Wasted Time [Thyme]” was performed between 1943 and 1958 in front of a live audience on a theatrical stage in upstate New Amsterdam.)</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR1uRemckLgiuEH7xl8ZJ9QQ3-AJCT35T43SjTgR2lK96kLYXLTl7Rhz2STdKWLVpVW0RIalPp9mGG6fLJCbLpKd4NUwd_8L6uD3FcCm9coqMYowyJSvCl-DoB8rm3V9RleAWlGrx_a092/s1600/JACK-NOIR.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR1uRemckLgiuEH7xl8ZJ9QQ3-AJCT35T43SjTgR2lK96kLYXLTl7Rhz2STdKWLVpVW0RIalPp9mGG6fLJCbLpKd4NUwd_8L6uD3FcCm9coqMYowyJSvCl-DoB8rm3V9RleAWlGrx_a092/s320/JACK-NOIR.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Jack Noir: Time Cracker<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 11pt;">ACT 1<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Announcer:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If it’s after
6:30 on Tuesday, then it’s TIME! Time
for <i>Jack Noir: Time Cracker…</i> <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: alarm clock}</i></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(continues)</i>…Episode 24. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{ SFX: Theme music plays under}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last week,
when we left <b>Jack, </b>he and<b> </b>his stately and beautiful assistant <b>Nathalie </b>had wandered aimlessly into
the <i>Wilderness Bar and Grill </i>in South
Hollywood. Nathalie<b> </b>was deciding between the Cobb Salad, and a Chicken with Wine Sauce
and Onions. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{ SFX: restaurant sounds}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I – I guess
I’ll have the salad.<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No. Wait. I
don’t think you should do that…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why not? The Cobb Salad is good here…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You should
have the chicken.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want the
Cobb Salad…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You should
have the chicken.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack, I don’t
think I <i>want</i> the chicken?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just…order
the chicken<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack, why
should I have the chicken?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because the
Cobb Salad has eggs in it….<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack, I know
that…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>(not understanding why
she doesn’t understand)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chicken…<i>(pause)… </i>eggs.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I
know which came first…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No one knows
that…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I
know.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Waitress <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>(forgotten and waiting
for their order)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’d like to
know…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just…Just
order the chicken.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Please, just
order the chicken. I’ll explain it all
to you later. Just order…the chicken. OK<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Pause…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Waitress <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Would you to
take a little more …TIME? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{ SFX: Dramatic music Sting}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The chicken…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(pause)</i>…I’m not hungry.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Waitress <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>(a bit miffed)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can give
you more…TIME if you need…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{ SFX: Dramatic music Sting}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nathalie… <i>(Tense dramatic music builds under)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Pause…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nathalie…! <i>(Tense dramatic music builds under)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>(Through clenched teeth)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll have…the
chicken! <i>(Tense dramatic music resolves)</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Waitress <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you,
miss. Very good choice. And what will the Gentleman have?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wh-what? <i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Waitress <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You,
sir. What would <i>you </i>like to order? <i>(Tense
dramatic music begins to build again)</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Heavily Accented
Stranger:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>(Interrupting, dramatic
music ends abruptly)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
…Perhaps <i>I</i> can answer that question, Mr…Noir.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack! It’s…Raton!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can smell
him Nathalie even though he’s hiding beneath that giant stuffed mushroom cap.<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s right,
Mr…Noir. You have an extraordinarily
good sense of smell don’t you?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s easy to
sniff out a rat on this menu.<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>(Emerging from under the
mushroom cap)<b><o:p></o:p></b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You’ve never
really acquired the taste for my kind, have you Mr. Noir?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No. Usually I have to add more lemon and
dill. Perhaps, a pinch of curry. And…that special ingredient.<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ah, yes,
that…special ingredient. You never found
that. Did you?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As long as
you have to bring it up. No, I’m still
looking. And…<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How long have
you been looking for it Mr. Noir? It seems like you’ve had plenty of…<b>TIME</b>.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{ SFX: Dramatic music Sting}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack, be
careful. He has the stopwatch!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s right
Mr. Noir. I’m holding <b><i>your</i></b>
stopwatch. The one you lost in episode
17. You thought it was gone forever
didn’t you?<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>(trying to get the upper
hand)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That depends
on which forever you mean.<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What?<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Come on,
you’ve been stuck in this recipe for a while.
You tell me, Raton. Which forever
do you mean? <i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack! Be careful.
You’re going to send us into a flashback.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve lived my
whole life in a flashback, Sweetcakes.
What’s to stop me now?<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a
feeling this one’s going to be different.<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What? But, they’re never different. They’re always the same. That’s what makes them flashbacks! They’re a literary, theatrical or cinematic
device in which an earlier event is inserted into the normal chronological
order of a narrative. They tell you what
happened <b><i>before</i></b>!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>(Teasing)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before what? Mr….Noir.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What do you
mean? Before what? Before this!
That’s what before… is… now… <i>(gets
lost)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But… you’ve
never called me “Sweetcakes” before. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{ SFX: Dramatic music Sting}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ah hah! But, you can’t know that unless you’ve been
in this flashback already!<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’re not in
the flashback yet.<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’re not?<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Have you
heard the organ music playing us into the past, yet?<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No.<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie </b><i>(voice fading)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Has anyone
faded their voice out as though they’re walking down a long corridor? <i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t think
so.<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Chief Casey </b><i>(a completely different voice)</i><b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Has anyone
completely new to the story up to this point started talking as though he’s
been here all the time? Actually he doesn’t appear until the end of the
episode?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not until
now.<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then we’re
not in a flashback yet. Are we? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>(mysteriously)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t
…know.<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Waitress <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay, who had
the ribs?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I did.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nathalie, that’s
not what you ordered…<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes it
is. I ordered the chocolate ribs with a
Foccacia sauce and stewed tomatoes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>(As if remembering)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I …I had
the Hot Set Ralston with a bowl of Suet….Now, wait just a minute… Hold on! That’s what I ordered in Episode 17, just
before that vermin Raton stole my stopwatch!<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s right
Mr. Noir. I <b><i>have</i></b> your stopwatch. And I’m not afraid to use it! <i>(He breaks into maniacal laughter)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{ SFX: A stopwatch starts ticking and continues through
the next section }<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>(These next lines should be delivered in slow motion as
though time had hit a wall of Jell-O, and then sped up through the end of the
section as though the spring has gone crazy in a cheap clock)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Waitress <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay, who had
the soup?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had the Split
Pea. I think Jack had the …<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Egg drop…<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Waitress </b><i>(repeating)</i><b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay, who had
the soup?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had the Egg
drop and I think Jack had the …<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chicken…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Waitress <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your entrées
will be out in a minute…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What about
the appetizer?<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay, who smells
of Mushroom Caps?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Waitress <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your entrées
will be out in a minute…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m waiting
for my chicken…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Which came
first?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who had the
soup?<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had the Egg
drop…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chicken for
me<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Egg drop…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chicken…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I
know.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s an
appetizer!<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cobb Salad<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It has eggs!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chicken…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I
know.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Which came
first?<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Which came
first?<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>(Coming into real time, Ticking stops)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i> (struggling with the words) </i>Okay!... Who… had…
the… soup? (<i>The last word is strained as though he has to punch through time to get
it out.)</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{ SFX: Dramatic music crescendo and climax, then Stops.}</i></b><i> <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Chief Casey:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’ll be back
after these words<b> </b>from<b> Barley Corne’s Sourmash Sweetcakes </b>and
your local stations.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>END OF ACT 1<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"><br clear="all" style="mso-special-character: line-break; page-break-before: always;" />
</span></b>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 10.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 11pt;">ACT 2<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i> {SFX: ticking stopwatch}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: running footsteps}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>(talking into a coffee
mug to make his voice “do that voice-over narration thing”)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nathalie and
I leapt from the car and started sprinting down Wasilla Boulevard to South
Hollywood We only had a minute or so to
get to the Wilderness Bar and Grill before Nathalie and I would wander
aimlessly in as we did at the end of Episode 23…which is where we rejoined the
story in this episode…. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Announcer:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack Noir:
Episode 24<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(into the
cup) Exactly…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(out of breath as though she was
running) </i>You know I can hear you when you do
that, don’t you?<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(normal voice, now breathing heavily
as well)</i> Yes, but
it’s essential as a device to bring the listener up to speed about where we are
in the story. A classical element
brought in from the Greek Theatre. A
Coffee Mug Chorus if you will. It allows
a character to step out of his body, as it were, and to narrate the story from
a second or third person perspective.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just as long
as you know. …. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: the running stops}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: the ticking continues}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(continuing) </i>Look, there we are!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(Into the cup again</i>) We were not too late. We arrived at the restaurant just as we were
going in the last time. This time we
were not “aimless”. This time we were
prepared. This time … we had already had
…dinner.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: Door opening to restaurant</i></b><i>}</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(Stage whisper)</i> Oh , no! There’s Raton sliding under the Mushroom
Cap. He still has the stopwatch!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not the
stopwatch we’re after Nathalie.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought it
was the stopwatch.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It isn’t the
stopwatch! It’s the special ingredient! The
FIRST ingredient!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack…we’re
about to catch up with our earlier selves, do something!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I told
you! I know now which came first!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Cobb
Salad?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No! The EGG!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: ticking stops}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Earlier Nathalie <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: in slight reverb like she’s a little out of phase}</i><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I – I guess
I’ll have the salad.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Earlier Jack <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: …out of phase}</i><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Cobb
Salad?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Earlier Nathalie <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Waitress<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: …out of phase}</i><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wonderful
choice. And you sir?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack (Real time)<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll have…<b><i>the rat
stuffed mushroom cap!<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: sound of a struggle… dishes and silverware
hitting the floor}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: sounds of surprised
patrons in the restaurant as if they’ve seen a rat on the premises.</i></b>
<b><i>This keeps up as a background throughout the rest of the episode.}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(<i>startled, out of breath, exposed)</i> Well,
Mr…Noir. I don’t know how you did it,
but it seems you’ve spoiled my little surprise.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s not
all that’s spoiled Raton. I’ve figured
out the sequence.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What
sequence?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The special
ingredient…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You found it?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You bet I
did. See I take this egg here. Crack it open and out pops…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: Loud popping sound}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chief Casey?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Chief Casey<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(Irish accent of course)</i>
So, Mr. Raton. It’s no good again
ye’ve been up ta? You’ll be comin’ along
with me, then.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: Hand cuffling
sounds}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You can’t
take me that easily copper. I still have
the …. Why…What happened to the stopwatch?
I had it right here in my pocket at the beginning of the episode. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Are you looking
for this Raton? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: Jack pulls watch
and chain out of his pocket.}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mon dieu!…Noir! It is impossible… how did you? … But I stole
it from you seven episodes ago. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Chief Casey<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is that a
crime I just heard you confessin’ to?
It’s your touch you’re losing, sure.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was easy, Raton. While we were hurrying here to intercept our
earlier selves from episode 23, I remembered a little trick I learned back in
the original series. All I have to do is
dis-remember some element of my past. Re-remember
it into a different future. And voila! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: Ticking resumes and gets louder throughout next
sequence, morphing from that of a small stopwatch to something like Big Ben}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Casey and Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Voila,” what?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once I dis-remembered
the exact moment you stole my watch from me in episode 17, I grabbed it back in
my new reality. Since Episode 18, you
haven’t had the stopwatch. I have!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But then I
wouldn’t have been able to steal the secret of the tanning beds in Episode 20…
oh, no! I feel so pasty!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack…what’s
happening?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The past is
reshuffling around us, Nathalie. Hold
on! We just have to ride it out…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i>{SFX: flashback music
playing backwards}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(continues) </i>There goes the flashback sequence in
episode 24…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack…this <i>IS</i> Episode 24!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not anymore,
Sweet cakes. We could land just about
anywhere in this series. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Chief Casey<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(Now he has a New York accent) </i>Or next, the way I figure…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Casey, what
happened to your accent?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Chief Casey<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What accent?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He’s
right. We could be thrown completely
clear of this series and into another whole season. Or…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: Big Ben
starts to toll midnight}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(nervously) Or what?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or, we could
be cancelled completely.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack I’m
scared.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just hang on!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Noir! You can’t dis-remember me! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Jack<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sorry
Raton. It’s not up to me now. I all has to shuffle out <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Raton<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack Noir…you
haven’t seen the last of me!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: Big Ben continues striking}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: Loud popping sound with thunder}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Jack! Raton’s
gone!<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Chief Casey<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who’s gone?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: Big Ben strikes 13}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(silence)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nathalie<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(worried)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jack?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(silence)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Chief Casey<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who’s Jack?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: normal restaurant sounds }</i></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Waitress<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cobb
salad. No eggs. Wonderful choice, miss. And what will the Gentleman have?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Chief Casey<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You got
burgers?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Nathalie<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(sadly) </i>Oh, Jack….<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: Theme music
up… a little more mournful than before…}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Announcer: <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>(Raton’s voice with no accent)</i><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is this the
LAST episode of Jack Noir: Time Cracker?
Or the first? What happened to
the Stopwatch? How can anyone know?
What have you been listening to for 24 episodes? And what about Nathalie? Tune in next week and find out. Maybe.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>{SFX: Music swells, maniacal laughter in echo}<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>END ACT 2<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">THE END<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-20257492570126641882012-08-22T11:42:00.000-07:002012-08-26T20:23:22.219-07:005:15 - OR SOIt is necessary to locate the birthplace of the following offering, both in time and in place. Otherwise it will make less sense than it will already not make. <br />
<br />
It was written late in February 1980 while I was living in New York City. One of the sofas on which I was allowed to "crash" on a regular basis was in an apartment in the SoHo district. Atop said apartment building, was a splendid rooftop retreat which I visited whenever I could. One remarkable evening at about "5:15 - or so" I witnessed the setting sun reflecting magnificently from the upper floors of one of the skyscrapers a couple miles uptown from me.<br />
<br />
Rainbows are also significant and shall be revisited in later posts.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWy5-Ok_499cINQPsrUd0lTgyJfgoLqMXZEG0xOlZb4K4fKgDUlBS_yx8JC1IqUMsjEevGqZ7AyW_6bTFJTI8c404jhQhHultHznV67AN1ql-NFatxhYklL9nqz4O7E_ec9h3moiL6aagD/s1600/515.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWy5-Ok_499cINQPsrUd0lTgyJfgoLqMXZEG0xOlZb4K4fKgDUlBS_yx8JC1IqUMsjEevGqZ7AyW_6bTFJTI8c404jhQhHultHznV67AN1ql-NFatxhYklL9nqz4O7E_ec9h3moiL6aagD/s320/515.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">5:15 --- Or So</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The sun shines sharply from</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Northern monolithic highlands.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Other glimmering baubles reflract</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And reflect</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Rainbows in a reminiscing Mind.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Clement warmness,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Unseasonal for February's normal chill</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Sends springtime shivers</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Through a fevered Mind.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Alone and one.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Urban, beehive sprawl</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Splinters northern sunsets into many.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">For a time...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">...none passes.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Save for The Never-ending Sound Effect:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Vehicular tumult.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Cloudless blue-and-brown hued m</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">asking </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Hides the endless velvet violet of Stellar regions from</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Optic awareness.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Here, to when "Now" is here,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The panoramic, </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">spectacle</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Emblazons</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> and imprints, </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">permanently</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A peaceful Mind.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Painful memories remembered</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Then filed away: </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Forgotten,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"Now" b</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">ecomes the dwelling place of</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Northern sunset's mysteries.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">There.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">For, when reading-thinking-speaking movement ends:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">(a transit of a soul's experience)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">There is another "Now" to bleach</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The stain of Life</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Away for one more shot at Eternity...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...an Immortal Mind.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-25944435236172297652012-08-18T22:02:00.002-07:002012-08-25T00:01:42.901-07:00WHOEVER YOU ARE<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
~ By Barley Corne</div>
<br />
Did you really just call me "Whoever You Are"?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It seems so unlike you to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm sorry I woke you from trying to sleep.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It was well after noon. Excuse me!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I thought I was more than "Whoever You Are".</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I could be mistaken, I guess.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And yet, I am left here to stare at the phone</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My ego is bruised, I confess.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's possible Darlin', whoever you are,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I needed a friend on the line.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Your brand of rejection, I take pretty hard.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's usually not a good sign.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just wanted a minute, whoever I was,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
To give you the news of the day.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's not like I called for no reason at all.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I knew what I wanted to say.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So why did you call me "Whoever You Are"?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why'd you bother to answer the call?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You could have just let your machine pick it up.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Since that's why it's there after all.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My Budweiser's flat'ning, whatever that is.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This evening has gone rather long.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's late and I have to start early at work</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I guess I should wrap up this song.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<i>Whoever I was, I was someone you knew</i><br />
<i>Whatever I did, did it really hurt you?</i><br />
<i>However I thought we had something to share.</i><br />
<i>Now I don't really think that you care...</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
I'll call in the morning, whenever that is.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And possibly talk to you then.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If I can be more than "Whoever You Are"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then maybe I'll call you again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /></div>
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Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-7414358813100196762012-08-17T20:36:00.001-07:002012-08-26T15:26:55.879-07:00You can talk. They can’t see you!<br />
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This document is a partial transcript of a live studio
performance of Barley Corne’s Hour Of Wasted Time (alternately spelled: Thyme),
broadcast over the National Broadcasting Network on the evening of June 14, 1949. The popular radio show which, on this
occasion, was filmed by an NBN Television crew for an experimental broadcast, was
briefly interrupted by interference from an unidentified source and the visual record
of certain segments did not survive. One
of these, sadly, is the ventriloquist act of Johnny Mopp & His Magic Toy,
Harry. It was a regular segment on the
radio program and featured a non-traditional relationship between the “Dummy”-
Harry and his Human - Johnny. </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAIUjYdoC0Bg4yGCFaIVf0bp7mxQrDR3v3IllA2ubA_UpJ_fRfHP6EfvCJEDkzJ7IUGeYgi3ijIIiq3Yd3y8djJWlPXAPvp7DFCAMu2vfypWcAc2Dl6GfmujiBHDvK8n-IWbAM_s4xNwou/s1600/johnnyMopp_and_Harry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAIUjYdoC0Bg4yGCFaIVf0bp7mxQrDR3v3IllA2ubA_UpJ_fRfHP6EfvCJEDkzJ7IUGeYgi3ijIIiq3Yd3y8djJWlPXAPvp7DFCAMu2vfypWcAc2Dl6GfmujiBHDvK8n-IWbAM_s4xNwou/s320/johnnyMopp_and_Harry.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Johnny Mopp and Harry c.1948</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
This classic routine, entitled: “You Can Talk. They Can’t
See You” begins as Harry (the “Dummy”) emerges from the wings while Johnny
remains mostly obscured behind the curtain, offstage.</div>
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<i>(Editor’s note: “Barley
Corne’s Hour of Wasted Time [Thyme]” was performed between 1943 and 1958 in
front of a live audience on a theatrical stage in upstate New Amsterdam. Hence, even though this is a radio transcript,
several staging notations have been made, based on eye witness accounts,
to approximate the actual in-person experience.)</i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Harry <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(to Johnny offstage)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Hey, Johnny!<b> </b>Come on out here. It’s time to do the show
now!</div>
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<br /></div>
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</div>
<b><i>(There
is a pause.)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b>Johnny <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b>(</b><i>Offstage)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Don’t want to.</div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(Looking at the audience)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Come on, the people are waiting.</div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Nuh, uh.</div>
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<b>Harry <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(Coaxing) </i>Johny
come on!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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…No…</div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Why not?</div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(After a slight pause,
mumbling) </i>I can’t stop moving my lips.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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What?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(Clearly) </i>I can’t
stop moving my lips! I’m a
ventriloquist. And I can’t stop moving
my lips! </div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Seriously?</div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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I mean, you’re out there talking. And doing a fine job if I say so myself…</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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…Thank you</div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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But let’s face it. If
I wasn’t back here doing the work, you’d be sitting out there doing your
impression of kindling wood in a suit.</div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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I beg your pardon…</div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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You’re a building material with hair.</div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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…You don’t have to get personal…</div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Without me, you’d be chucked by the nearest woodchuck….</div>
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<b><br /></b>
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Now that’s enough…</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><i>(Pause)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Sorry…</div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Okay then…</div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Got carried away…</div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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It’s alright.</div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(Animated again) </i>Kinda,
like I carry <i>YOU</i> every night. Day in and day out…!</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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All right! I think we
understand! Really, that’s enough now…</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><i>(Pause)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Sorry again.</div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Apology accepted.</div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Anyway, that’s why I can’t come out on stage anymore.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Because you can’t stop moving your lips…</div>
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<b>Johhny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Yeah. Cause if you
and I are on the same stage anymore, I’d have to do all the talking. You’d have to…..stop.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><i>(Short pause)</i><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Johnny<b>….<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(Timidly) </i>Yes?</div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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It’s Okay. Come on
out here.</div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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But…</div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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It’s OK, really. Come
on out.</div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(begins to protest
again)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(Coaxing) </i> Come on….</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><i>(Johnny emerges from the wings
and Harry leads the audience in a big welcoming applause. Johnny is beaming.)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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See? How bad is
that? Everyone loves you for yourself! </div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Yeah! I guess
so! But what about the lips thing?</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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(Is SILENT) </div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Harry<b>?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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(Is still SILENT) </div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Harry<b>! </b>Speak to me!</div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(Suddenly) </i>You
want to know the truth? </div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(Relieved) </i>Sure! Anything!</div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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…About the lips thing?
</div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Yeah.</div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This is <b><i>radio</i></b>, Johnny.</div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Yeah. I…</div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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You’re a ventriloquist on the <b><i>radio.</i><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b>Johnny</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>(dawn is breaking) </i>Um..<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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It's allright. You can talk. They can’t see you!</div>
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<br />
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Ahhhhh!<i> </i>So…</div>
<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Harry <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Kinda frees you up a little…</div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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…You could put it that way, yeah. A little weird, but nice. <i>(a
pause, then genuinely) </i>Thank you.<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<b>Harry <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(Awkwardly)<b><o:p></o:p></b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why don’t you just say “Hello”?<b><i><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(Looks at the audience
and smiles)</i> Hello. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><i>(Someone in the audience responds
“Hello!”<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b>Harry <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(to the audience) </i>That
was mediocre. Why don’t you try again?<b><i><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(More forcefully…)</i> Hello!
<i>(Audience responds much better
this time)</i> Smile! You’re on the <b><i>RADIO</i>!<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><i>(The audience responds with waves
of laughter, friendly cheers and loud applause.)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(Stage whisper) </i>The
act. Go into the act<b><i><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i>(Also sotto-voce)</i> Oh,
r-right! Okay. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>(Now he’s in
character) </i>S-say Johnny,</div>
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<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(Correcting) </i>Harry…<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Harry<b>…. </b>I hear you have a<b> </b>talent for reading minds.
Is that true?</div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Actually, I do have a sixth sense if you need to know.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Really? Just how many
senses ARE there?</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Counting this one?</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(Take to the audience)</i> …Six.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>(Finally getting into the swing
of it, bringing in an air of mystique, setting up a magic trick)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
…Right! Okay. Who has a deck of playing cards? A regular deck. No markings or anything. Just a plain deck. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>(A woman from the audience
produces a deck)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Great! Okay. Now please shuffle the deck. And be sure not
to let me see it as you do.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: start;">
<b><i><br /></i></b>
<b><i>(This is done)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<b>Johnny</b></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is it done?</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Audience Member <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
It is done.</div>
</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good, OK. Now. Fan the deck so that the numbers are
down. Don’t let me see them. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>(This is done)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny </b><i>(continuing)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
…and allow me to choose a card from the deck. Tell me when you’re ready.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Audience Member <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m ready.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right. Now I’m going
to select a card from the deck, and I will show it to you. Being careful not to let Harry see the card I
have selected. Is that clear?</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Audience Member</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-align: justify;">
<b><i>(pulls
the card from the deck, looks at it, hiding it from Harry and shows it to the Audience
Member)</i></b><i> </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
You have it? <b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Audience Member <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>(Hands the card to the Audience
Member) <o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now keep that safe somewhere. Put it in your pocket. And don’t let <b>Harry</b> see it!<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Audience Member <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ok.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>(Turning to Harry, who has had
his eyes averted throughout and has fallen asleep) <o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now… Harry<b>…</b> <b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(snores)</i> <b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Harry<b>?!<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i>(Still half asleep) </i>Okay…
just don’t tell my wife…</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(Shaking him awake) </i>HARRY<b>!!<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
What!?</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Haven’t you been paying attention?<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Last I knew we were talking about
my sixth sense and then you completely ignored me since then.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m so sorry<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I mean I think It’s kind of
special to be able to see things other people can’t see don’t you think so?</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, you’re right. It
IS special.<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i>(to audience) </i>I see WOOD
people!</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Harry<b>. </b>I said I’m sorry. Can we get back to the act?<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Oh, listen to you! All “Mr. I’m-in-charge, now,” aren’t we?</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Harry<b>. </b>Please.
Why don’t you tell us…. <i>(Back in
“tone mystique”) </i>What is the card this nice lady pulled from the deck?</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Are you kidding? I was asleep!</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Uh, I thought…I didn’t know you were ….. You said to get into the act and I did!</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I know! Then you completely …. Wait a minute. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in;">
<b><i>(He stops and stares at the Audience Member) <o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
You’re the one!</div>
</div>
</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Audience Member <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Me?</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Yes. You are the one who chose the card, aren’t
you?</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Audience Member <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Very nice dress.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Audience Member <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
You have pockets in that dress?</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Audience Member <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Is there a card in one of your
pockets?</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Audience Member <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Is it from my agent? I can’t find the one he gave me.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Harry<b>…<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Ok, ok! <i>(he
bows his head and starts to moan) </i>Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh-mmmmmm.<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny </b><i>(getting anxious)<b><o:p></o:p></b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Harry<b>. </b>What are you doing?<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh-mmmmmm! What?
I’m communing….</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<i><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Communing</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Yeah, communing…. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh-mmmmmm.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny <i><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With what? A
backwards cow?</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
That’s just mean!</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m sorry! Just pay
attention!<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Okay! The card!
</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes!<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The playing card.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes!<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That was chosen.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes!<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry </b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It……. was……… the………. 8 of Diamonds! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i><br /></i></b>
<b><i>(The Audience Member takes the
card out of her pocket and shows it to the rest of the audience. It is indeed the 8 of Diamonds. The place goes crazy with applause and cheers)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes! The 8 of
Diamonds! Isn’t that fantastic, Ladies
and Gentlemen?</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Harry<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you, thank you!
Say goodnight, Johnny</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Johnny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Goodnight. Johnny<b>. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<b><i>(He waves to the audience, smiling,
triumphant. Harry (with Johnny’s assistance) also waves. They exit the stage,
commiserating with each other as they leave…)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>End of transcript.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<br />Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-32396058793051621002012-08-10T13:56:00.003-07:002015-05-14T19:58:30.437-07:00 Men are from Ugh. Women are from Neatness <div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left;">One of my favorite Neal Simon plays is "The Odd
Couple". I haven't acted in it yet, but I think I could still pull off a
good Oscar Madison if I lost a little weight and put some color back in my
hair.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Damn! Now that I've summoned it, the ubiquitous theme
song has lodged itself in my brain. I expect it to follow me around,
dropping sandwich wrappers in my path and blowing cigar smoke in my face all
day. The only way I can get rid of a song once it jams in my head is to replace
it with another one. Then I'm stuck with<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><i>that<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></i>tune until it in turn is replaced,
or it gets bored with itself and falls asleep when I'm not looking.
However once I realize there is no brain tune playing, it wakes up again once I
wonder where it went. You don't want my head. It's noisy in there.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Since the dawn of<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><i>sapiens</i>,
we have been social beasts. The larger the group, the easier we find it to get
along. Owing to the concept of security in numbers, it was simply easier for
Ugh to blame someone else, like Wug, for the mess Ugh made. It was much
later, after we started splitting off into monogamous pairs, when we had to own
up to our own failings. There's something to be said about how we as
self-realized beings adapt to our surroundings to cope, or not to cope with
changes. But when it comes to dealing with the other-than-me on our lives
some of us are more adept than others..<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Using the Oscar-Felix unity as a template, I can apply it
to the relationship my wife and I enjoy in our so-far 29-year experiment in
co-habitation. There are all sorts of things a guy like me needs to learn
when he pairs up with a not-me who happens to practice Neatism. Neatism is, as
it sounds, a borderline obsession with arranging everything in alphabetical order
if it has a label, by height if not, by color if available, and everything is
hidden away from sight thereby eliminating "Clutter". “Clutter”
is bad. Neat is good.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Before entering into the state of Romantic Co-habitation;
as far as I was concerned, vacuum cleaners were for people who had shedding
animals in the house, and they were w-a-y-y too noisy -- the vacuums that is --
not necessarily the animals. In my pre Co-habitation world,
there were no English words for: the Black Stuff that Grows in the Shower, the
Green Stuff that Grows in the Refrigerator, the White Stuff that
Grows in the Coffee Mug, or the Brown Stuff that Replaced the Orange and
Yellow Stuff that Used to Smell Good. I didn't see a need to name them. I
have no stronger excuse.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
But, things are different now, my education has been
intense. To begin with, my wife <i>knows </i>the
words for all of these things. I'm not certain they are the actual scientific
names for the aforementioned fungi, but they are sufficiently descriptive nouns
nonetheless. I bow to her creativity.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
When I was young, I had been taught: "There's a time
and a place for everything." In later life, I took that to include such
things as the white stuff in the coffee mug. Not so for the Neatist. (I
coined this word myself.) For the Neatist, the time is always
"Now" and the place is predefined by the Master Plan. If it is
not in the Neatist’s Master Plan, there is no place for it. Exceptions
can be made if I petition for special dispensation for certain, unlisted
treasures; but the wait can be long for an answer and the space allotment is
usually small. Essentially, I have three desk drawers, one third of one
closet, a dresser, the cargo space of my 2006 Matrix, and a cigar box in
which to store my 60-some years of personal life's accumulation of touchstones;
along with and among the various and sundry components of my modest wardrobe.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Which brings me to this: before our partnership, I wouldn't
have dreamed that there was a correct way to hang shirts in the closet, except
that the hook came out where the neck would be and the wide part went into the
arm hole at the shoulders. I thought I got points for hanging them in the
closet at all. No. They must face East. I don't know if it is a
sacred alignment for Neatists or not, but they must face East. I have
also learned to embrace the Mystical Trifold of the Towels. I'm not
permitted to explain further. Just know it is the Right Way. And don't
get me started on the Quadruple Flex with a Twist trick with underwear. I
never mastered it and she won't even let me try it anymore.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
All these things I learned from my wife as we have traveled
on our road together. And I must admit I was beginning to get the hang of
stuff like the order of the Things that Go Under the Sink, when the entire
dynamic changed. Our Daughter arrived. No longer does our household
provide succor for the Neatist. Nature has seen fit to provide for the Child.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
...And Ugh has someone to blame for his mess again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Cue that ubiquitous theme music....<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-27466205624541137652012-08-01T17:00:00.001-07:002012-08-29T06:20:06.661-07:00How To Sing the Blues<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Okay, I borrowed this. </span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Actually, I compiled it. And I added to it. The original is lost somewhere in an internet back room, soaked in old sourmash, and strumming on an out of tune 5 string guitar. </span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixxCWT2oUpJsAyEVxGwhvLlyKXGtZdClkHgag4frCJ-Jmfm9qRdWJJ7-J9OqaOfX59AWz2jzbypJPmYM2mof-kCc53uRLExq9BA3jUuhRD0yIsTFpXqh1dsburV_T12D_H2eHGOzxxx_PQ/s1600/DonaldSingingBlues.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixxCWT2oUpJsAyEVxGwhvLlyKXGtZdClkHgag4frCJ-Jmfm9qRdWJJ7-J9OqaOfX59AWz2jzbypJPmYM2mof-kCc53uRLExq9BA3jUuhRD0yIsTFpXqh1dsburV_T12D_H2eHGOzxxx_PQ/s320/DonaldSingingBlues.jpg" width="320" /></a><b><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Like most Blues, ain't no one owns it. It just gets sang.</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">1.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Most Blues begin <i>"…woke up this
morning."</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">2.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-style: normal;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">"I
got a good woman" ain't no way to begin the Blues, unless something
nasty's in the next line, like - <br />
<i>I got a good woman <br />
With the meanest face in town.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">3.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-style: normal;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Blues
are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find
something that rhymes. …Sort of… like - <i><br />
Got a good woman <br />
With the meanest face in town <br />
Got a good woman <br />
With the meanest face in town <br />
She got teeth like </i></span><i><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Steve Buscemi</span></i><i><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">
<br />
And she weigh 500 pound.<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">4.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">The
Blues ain't about choice: You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch.
Ain't no way out.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">5.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Blues
cars: Chevys and Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in
Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a
Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft an' state-sponsored motor
pools ain't even in the running.</span> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">6.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Walkin'
plays a major part in the </span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">7.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Teenagers
can't sing the</span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">. They ain’t fixin’ to die yet. Adults sing the blues. Blues Adulthood means
old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">8.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Blues
can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard
times in St. Paul or Tucson is just depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas
City still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the</span></span> <span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">in any
place that don't get rain.</span> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">9.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">A
man with male pattern baldness ain't the</span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">. A woman with male pattern
baldness is. Breaking your leg cuz you skiing is not the</span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">. Breaking your
leg cuz an alligator be chomping on it is.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">10. </span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">The following colors do not belong in the </span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">: <br />
a. violet<br />
b. beige<br />
c. mauve<br />
d. taupe<br />
e. flamingo (even though it has a cool number of syllables)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">11.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">The following do:<br />
a. Black<br />
b. Brown<br />
c. Black<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">12.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">You can't have the</span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">in well lighted places
like an office or a shopping mall. Go
outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">13.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Good places for the Blues: <br />
a. the highway<br />
b. the jailhouse<br />
c. the empty bed.<br />
d. The bottom of a whiskey glass.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">14.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Bad places: <br />
a. Ashrams<br />
b. Gallery openings<br />
c. Martha’s Vinyard<br />
d. Golf Course<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">15.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">No one will believe it's the</span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">if you
wear a suit, unless you a old ethnic man and you slept in it.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">16.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Do you have the right to sing the</span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">? <br />YES if :<br />
a. You’re older than dirt<br />b. You're blind <br />
c. You shot a man in Memphis<br />
d. You can't be satisfied.<br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">NO if :<br />
a. You once were blind, but now can see<br />
b. The guy in Memphis lived<br />
c. You have a trust fund<br />
d. You have all your teeth<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 6pt 0in 2.9pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">17.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Neither Justin Bieber nor Randy
Travis can sing the Blues. But, not surprisingly, Willie Nelson CAN sing
the</span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">18.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">If you ask for water and your baby gives you gasoline,
it's the</span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">19.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Other</span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">beverages are: <br />
a. Wine<br />
b. Whiskey or Bourbon<br />
c. Muddy Water<br />
d. Black Coffee<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">20.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Blues beverages are NOT: <br />
a. Any mixed drink<br />
b. Any wine kosher for Passover<br />
c. Snapple<br />
c. Sparkling Water<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">21.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">If it occurs in a cheap motel, it's </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Adobe Garamond Pro Bold, serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large; text-indent: -0.25in;">. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">22.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Some Blues names for Women: <br />
a. Sadie<br />
b. Big Mama<br />
c. Bessie<br />
d. Bertha<br />
e. Josephine <br />
f. Lucille<br />
g. Fat River Dumpling<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 3.4pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">23<i>.</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-style: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Some Blues Names for Men <br />
a. Joe <br />
b. Willie <br />
c. Little Willie <br />
d. Big Willie, <br />
e. Willie B. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 3.4pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<i style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">(Note: Persons with names like Sierra,
Sequoia, or Skye will not be permitted to sing the Blues no matter how
many men they shoot in Memphis. Nor should juggling comedians.)</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">24.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Other Blues Names (Starter Kit) <br />
a. Name of Physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Asthmatic) <br />
b. First name (see above) or name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi)<br />c. Last Name of President (Jefferson,
Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large; text-indent: -0.25in;"> (For example: Blind Lemon Jefferson, Cripple Kiwi </span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large; text-indent: -0.25in;"> Fillmore...</span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large; text-indent: -0.25in;"> ok, maybe 'Kiwi' don't work.) </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large; text-indent: -0.25in;">25.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large; text-indent: -0.25in;">A
Blues way to communicate is to dial up the telephone or to "holla." </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">26.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> S</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">martphones or any device beginning with “i” are
not Blues ways to communicate.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">27.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Blues weapons: <br />
a. shotgun<br />
b. snub nosed 38<br />
c. knife<br />
d. "doing the dozens," (don’t know what it is, but is sounds
deadly).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">28.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">People with the Blues eat barbecue (dry rub), grits, corn
bread, beans, and they last meal.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">29.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Good</span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">instruments: Guitar (Lucille),
Slide Trombone, Saxophone, Harmonica, string bass, piano, drums. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">30.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Bad</span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">instruments: almost everything
else, particularly inappropriate are the oboe, french horn, and glochenspiel.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">31.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">You got the</span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">if you got lumbago, or a rumblin’
in your brain. If it’s treatable, you don’t got the <o:p></o:p></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large; text-indent: -0.25in;">Blues</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">32.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Black Jack is a good</span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">game. Uno is not.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">33.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Blues jobs include trucker, railroad work,
picking cotton, musician (down or out preferred), just got fired.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 2.9pt; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">34.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Blues animals include the junkyard dog, faithful
mule, big ole rat. Ain't no cats, except maybe Mud Cat.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">35.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Most country songs can be interchanged with</span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">songs (baby left me, crop ain’t growin’, dog died, shot a man in Reno,
etc.) <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">36.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">Finally:
<br />
Epitaph on a</span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif; font-size: large;">Blues</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">musician's tombstone: "I didn't wake up this
morning"<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Adobe Garamond Pro Bold', serif;">~ Bursitis "Barley Corne" Van Buren</span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-43536601664397847902012-07-27T22:53:00.000-07:002012-07-29T23:25:35.968-07:00THE FUTURE'S GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
~ by Barley Corne</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5UnkkQF0TSt0D8GLiv-IyUTMayb1r2tj23l_D84igxdlkFJOCngNjaFQNbSr4fDDu9PyVMdYrLALWmGFbYiZNx1O1V_9eijUPvM86J-OCxRd_EJGCqpRyCytPkZQ6O_V0YvVn41oGb6X6/s1600/i-phone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5UnkkQF0TSt0D8GLiv-IyUTMayb1r2tj23l_D84igxdlkFJOCngNjaFQNbSr4fDDu9PyVMdYrLALWmGFbYiZNx1O1V_9eijUPvM86J-OCxRd_EJGCqpRyCytPkZQ6O_V0YvVn41oGb6X6/s200/i-phone.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">The first thing when I get up in the morning</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">The mist of sleep still fogging up my brain</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">I have to get online and bring up Facebook</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">And lose myself in cyberspace again</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">My profile picture probably needs changing, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">So I look much more together than I am</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Share a couple viral videos from YouTube</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">It looks like I’ll be late for work again</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">If I don’t watch out</span></div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> (If he don’t watch out)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">These modern wonders</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Are gonna bring </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> (They’re gonna bring)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Me to my knees</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">There is no hope</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> (He's lost all hope)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Of ever changing</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">The Future will</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> The Future's gonna be the death of me!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Accidently dropped my cellphone in the toilet</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Lost my entire phonebook in a flash</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">I couldn’t make the call she was expecting</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Hope she doesn’t throw my stuff out in the trash</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">I had to use the payphone at the Roadhouse</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">You know the one at exit 43</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Tried to tell her I was working at the office</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">But, I was busted by my GPS-ID</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">If I don’t watch out</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> (He won’t watch out)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">These modern wonders</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Are gonna bring </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> (They’re gonna bring)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Me to my knees</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">There is no hope</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> (He's lost all hope)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Of ever changing</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">The Future will</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> The Future's gonna be the death of me!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">I met a girl who said she’s into gaming</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">That sounded mighty int’resting to me.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">I got her to escort me to her parlor</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Then I saw the 12’ foot Sony L.C.D.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">(As big as my old Chevvy S.U.V.)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">If I don’t watch out</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> (He won’t watch out)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">These modern wonders</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Are gonna bring </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> (They’re gonna slam)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Me to my knees.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">There is no hope</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> (Abandoned hope)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Of ever changing.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">The Future will</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> The Future's gonna be the death of me!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">I sent a picture to a cute young thing on Twitter</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">I told her it was just for her to see</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">I saw it on the TV News next morning</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">And now the law is coming after me</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">So my Yahoo’s got my Bing all in a Dogpile</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">And my G-Mail’s all Linked-in with stuff to share</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">My cellmate on his FaceBook page Diggs Myspace</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">And I haven’t seen my Google in a year!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">If I don’t watch out</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> (He won’t watch out)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">These modern wonders</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Are gonna bring</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> (They’re gonna slam)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Me to my knees.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">There is no hope</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> (Abandoned hope)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Of ever changing.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">The Future will</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> The Future's gonna be the death of me!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5UnkkQF0TSt0D8GLiv-IyUTMayb1r2tj23l_D84igxdlkFJOCngNjaFQNbSr4fDDu9PyVMdYrLALWmGFbYiZNx1O1V_9eijUPvM86J-OCxRd_EJGCqpRyCytPkZQ6O_V0YvVn41oGb6X6/s1600/i-phone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="background-color: white; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5UnkkQF0TSt0D8GLiv-IyUTMayb1r2tj23l_D84igxdlkFJOCngNjaFQNbSr4fDDu9PyVMdYrLALWmGFbYiZNx1O1V_9eijUPvM86J-OCxRd_EJGCqpRyCytPkZQ6O_V0YvVn41oGb6X6/s200/i-phone.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;">The Future’s gonna be the death of me!</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-32631916264067838182012-07-27T15:04:00.000-07:002012-08-10T22:08:43.215-07:00To Challenge the Beast<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I remember the first watermelon eating contest I was in. I remember it because if I don't, I am doomed to repeat that mistake, too. -BC</span></i><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I come from a time and place filled with county fairs and summer socials. We went to pancake breakfasts and Kiwanis chicken Barbecues. I could never get my fill of corn on the cob, or buttermilk biscuits. All year I would salivate in anticipation of the next volunteer firemen's carnival; where my dad would be serving up the best pepper, onion and hot Italian sausage sandwich that was ever grilled. I have not yet found its equal. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">To say the least, I am a social eater and I will furthermore confess to having participated in a number of so called "food challenges" of varying intensities throughout my years; ranging from the simple "double dog dare" to the Cardinal Puff Toasting memory-hole of my college years to a badly executed attempt at duplicating Cool Hand Luke's hard-boiled egg triumph... (forgetting entirely that Cool Hand Luke was a fictional character in a Hollywood movie).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">That being said, I am set upon my heels by the stupefying propagation of high-test professional grade eating challenges in the last decade. I googled up a batch of them and was amazed. I found this eating news/database and calendar for professional competitors called <a href="http://eatfeats.com/">Eat Feats</a>. Here, you got all your 9 pound hamburgers, 72 oz steaks, flaming hot wings, 10 egg omelets with the works, 28 inch/10 pound pizzas and 2 foot sausages. Here you can schedule your belly bursting holiday by starting with a 5 pound breakfast burrito at the <a href="http://www.sidebarandrestaurant.com/">Side Bar & Restaurant</a> in West Chester, PA, moving on to <a href="http://www.joeysfamousphilly.com/">Joey's Famous Philly</a> Cheesecakes for the "Death by Cheesecake" (2 foot wide cheesecake) challenge, and easing on down the road to finish up with a late diner at the "I'm a Fat Bast@rd" Eating Competition in Manhattan to down a pound of fried fish at <a href="http://www.asaltandbattery.com/">A Salt & Battery</a>. And that's just one day of your fabulous Food Competitors Tour of the Northeast. How will you survive day two?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Now, I have never competed at the Pro level, nor do I foresee that I ever will, but it's nice to know there are some challenges that are designed for the more common human beings among us who enjoy both good food and a little challenge to go on the side. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">One such haven of attainable gustatory fame is <a href="http://www.blakesplacebbq.com/orange-county-bbq.html">Blake's Place</a> in Anaheim and Los Alamitos, CA. They are a full fledged pit smoked BBQ cafe and catering operation that doesn't skimp on the good stuff. Besides serving some of the most tender and succulent smoked meats, to literally more than a million guests since opening in 1996, eating there is just plain fun. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitZPdBnd7VbQqWv4bjHlL6oE1U091CKNsjUJGSHib4rIEYRyT97KVLNBg2icodhl3RGXHuKO77wbiZSu0uCjMqJhUok2jL2i0u6HG3xzclTgSUgd3Wd_dN5e7yggSkS708F85eG4wqwF02/s1600/AaronYbarra513-t.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitZPdBnd7VbQqWv4bjHlL6oE1U091CKNsjUJGSHib4rIEYRyT97KVLNBg2icodhl3RGXHuKO77wbiZSu0uCjMqJhUok2jL2i0u6HG3xzclTgSUgd3Wd_dN5e7yggSkS708F85eG4wqwF02/s1600/AaronYbarra513-t.jpg" /></a>Plus, there's "the Beast". It's a two and a half pound mound of pulled pork, pulled BBQ chicken, chopped beef brisket, coleslaw, sliced red onion, pickles and BBQ sauce served on an enormously oversized bun. They stick a couple of skewers in the monster to keep it together (I think they look like antennae) and there you have it. If you choose to take the challenge - finish everything on your plate in 20 minutes - and succeed ,you get a tee shirt (see below). And if you break the record you get the sandwich, a $15.99 value, for free. If you want, you can even go for a DOUBLE. </span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT40e_v0KoP5MAn0PScCCIs_HXOctvGG_h3v3ownbi4QcjEv6i5Fm2vUDI8Z6pcbpKUxqAa74PQ9vKp7YgBATdUK9hxS6Hqxryy3pL_-ToNaRLWGrEpN-YwdZhvkBG3etQgpgi9FDQVVml/s1600/backgroundimage.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT40e_v0KoP5MAn0PScCCIs_HXOctvGG_h3v3ownbi4QcjEv6i5Fm2vUDI8Z6pcbpKUxqAa74PQ9vKp7YgBATdUK9hxS6Hqxryy3pL_-ToNaRLWGrEpN-YwdZhvkBG3etQgpgi9FDQVVml/s200/backgroundimage.gif" width="162" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Prized Tee-Shirt Logo</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I had the honor of witnessing a challenge going down Wednesday evening as I was "babysitting" a new point-of-sale installation at Blake's Place in Anaheim. The gourmathelete, a truck driver for a supply warehouse informs me that he has been training for this all day by working a 10 hour shift. It is his first attempt in this event, but he is confident he will be successful. A Blake's associate explains the rules of engagement: 20 minutes to finish the whole shmegegge and no substitutions on the order - you get what you get and you don't get upset. Next, his name and other vital statistics are entered into the official Beastlog and he is supplied with a digital timer, preset to countdown from 20 minutes. And, finally the sandwich is delivered to him, notably with less pomp and circumstance than I might have expected. But, after all, this is the Grassroots League not the "Show".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The associate finalizes all the official preliminary business, snaps a photo of Man and Beast for the record, does the "Ready-set-GO!" and starts the timer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">At first, the contender takes a moment to size up his competition. Is that a glimmer of "What have I gotten myself into..." in his eyes? Hard to tell. It is fleeting though. I'm sure he doesn't want to show any fear. Not now. This is his moment. He turns the plate slowly to see the mountainous concoction from every angle. He must plan his first move carefully. Should he just go for the slam? Should he try and stuff that thing in his mouth as is? No, it just seems too massive for this approach. He could break it down into components and nibble it into submission. Alas, the time limit would not allow for that path of assault. Seconds tick, digitally, and still not a bite has been taken.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The party of four at the table next to him, aware of his quest, are beginning to cheer him on a little. They want to see him succeed. Or they just want to see him get on with it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Another moment, and we can see that he has chosen his tactic. Divide and conquer it will be. He's reaching for the knife! He cuts about a third off the sandwich and takes it in his hands. There's the first bite, and he's off!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I will spare you, gentle reader, of the blow by blow description of the (for lack of a better word, I will borrow a made up one from <a href="http://villains.wikia.com/wiki/Big_Dan_Teague">Big Dan Teague</a>) gustation that followed. However I have provided a video of different challenge made on some other day. Words are neither necessary, nor descriptive enough to fully communicate what transpires in one of these events. Be warned, this video is graphic and hard to watch if you are at all squeamish about food, have eating phobias, or suffer from OCD.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/iDfEuEwQxdY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">In the end, there were cheers all around. The challenge was met in 15 minutes and 45 seconds. It was not a record, but it was one in the "Win" column for humanity. The record at this writing, in the Men's category, is 4 minutes and 5 seconds. Women are welcome to compete as well, and their record is 16 minutes even.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Our intrepid gourmathelete had beaten the Beast. He supplied his tee-shirt size (2XL) to the Blake's associate who returned and presented him with his prize. It was done. An Air of Satisfaction mixed with and infused the hickory smokey atmosphere of Blake's Place in Anaheim with its heady bouquet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I know that smell. It smells a lot like Italian Sausage with peppers and onions.</span></div>Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-34923921688844246602011-08-19T16:52:00.000-07:002012-08-10T23:02:08.361-07:00What? It could work!<br />
Okay, here's the pitch: Think... reworking "The Dead Zone": <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgchbfqPO_is4ukQJwTtlXf92ccowL8kxEIMoifjg9ztgJU2VKYRedH5UXBYBR9f3y8z7-h9NS0OuigGwgqUM77wKbR43l4c5spf1q3jRnNkQ_zl9RLojqAR2juEDT5pyKICLkk15Tom32z/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgchbfqPO_is4ukQJwTtlXf92ccowL8kxEIMoifjg9ztgJU2VKYRedH5UXBYBR9f3y8z7-h9NS0OuigGwgqUM77wKbR43l4c5spf1q3jRnNkQ_zl9RLojqAR2juEDT5pyKICLkk15Tom32z/s1600/images.jpg" /></a><i>Josh Brolin plays The Presidential Candidate and Daniel Radcliffe plays the troubled amnesiac who's come out an eleven year coma to find he has magic powers and becomes obsessed with heading off a future Armageddon.</i><br />
ACT I<br />
<br />
SNAP FROM BLACK: It's eleven years ago. Open on a car speeding along rain swamped rural highway, after dark. It's a harrowing ride. Way too fast for conditions CUT TO: interior of the car showing a young boy, about ten years old, lying unconscious in the back seat with his head being cradled in the lap of an unidentified woman; presumed to be his mother. There is a deep gash in the boy's forehead. CUT TO: her perspective past the back of the driver's head out the windshield showing headlights reflecting off sheets of rain and glimpses of rapidly passing foliage at the side of the road, but little else. Are those the oncoming lights of a truck too close to avoid? CUT TO: Extreme closeup of the terror in the drivers eyes.<br />
<br />
There is a scream. Then silence. Then BLACK<br />
<br />
FADE FROM BLACK: A closeup of the sleeping boy's face slowly morphs showing the passage of years.<br />
During the change, we hear snippets of conversation as though coming in and out of a sonic cloud: "...how sad it is that his parents died in the crash..." "...a miracle the boy lived..." "...the fact he was already unconscious when the accident happened probably saved his life...." ...an old man's voice accepting responsibility of the boy's care... ...the same elderly voice singing Happy Birthday... " ...why won't he wake up?..." "...we can't find anything wrong..." "...it's all up to him now..." " ...sounds of a TV progressing through a decade of news and events... ... etc.<br />
<br />
Then silence. Then WHITE<br />
<br />
FADE FROM WHITE: View from an upstairs window out to a shady well manicured residential back yard. It's a beautiful late summer's day. Pulling back reveals an adult version of the sleeping boy: Jimmy Smith (Daniel Radcliffe). Long steady-cam panning shot takes in the surroundings: A typical farmhouse interior shows pictures hung on the wall showing his life as a boy with his parents. In some of the pictures we can see an older bearded man with his arm around Jimmy's mother. There's a well broken in easy chair beside his bed with a pile of books next to it. The topmost one: <i><b>Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows</b></i> has a bookmark not quite half way through it. We hear the television in another room and The Candidate (Josh Brolin) is making a speech at a large rally. Through the sonic cloud we can hear the crowd roar its approval on almost each line he utters. He is a phenomenon. As this happens the tracking shot has now found Jimmy's face again and begins a slow zoom in towards it. <br />
<br />
CUT TO TV: SLOW ZOOM to
The Candidate saying:<br />
"My friends, I have been watching and I have been praying for God to tell me what to do about the threat we are facing as a Nation when it comes to how our OWN GOVERNMENT has begun to take over our lives. And do you know what he said?"<br />
The crowd shouts "YES!" in unison.<br />
"He said, 'Man'," the crowd cheers, "He said 'Man, you gotta take this one on yourself.'" <br />
The crowd shouts "YES!"<br />
"He said, 'You gotta take this one on yourself because there just in't gonna be anyone gonna do it for you.'"<br />
Scattered "That's right's" and "Amens" can be heard from the crowd.<br />
"He said, 'Rick,'"<br />
The crowd shouts "YES!"<br />
"You gotta run for President of the United States and you gotta WIN! Because I'm FED UP!"<br />
The crowd shouts "FED UP!" "He said 'I'm FED UP with this government, and you gotta do something about it!'"<br />
We are now zoomed in on
The Candidate 's eyes showing the naked ambition in them. As the crowd goes wild...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
CUT TO CLOSE UP: Jimmy Smith,<br />
the sonic "clouds" part and the sound becomes crystal clear. Jimmy's eyes snap open. He is awake.<br />
<br />
CUT TO OPENING CREDITS:<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
....WHAT? It could work!....<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
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<br />Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-3113384076497416132011-08-16T14:38:00.000-07:002012-08-10T22:45:52.658-07:00BLENDING MOCHABy Barley Corne<br />
~ With apologies to Robert Frost<br />
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SOMETHING there is that doesn't love a scone, <br />
That dreads the gritty dry-mouth taste of it, <br />
And sends the gasping sampler on the run; <br />
A nonfat mocha latte for relief.<br />
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<br />
The toasted bagel smacks of issue too: <br />
The cream cheese is a needed condiment <br />
And my physician wants me to reduce, <br />
And he would have me using fat free spread, <br />
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The flavoring is flat no pleasure there.<br />
So what would be the pastry I prefer? <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5dbPy7G72X4MZj6UXTABm1fxX4Ya9WEbfo_l0hZ67Kt2fk_XxPRQxI5HZdig2DRQSD4o8DEaqgduCY7_pzC6mzxQahCFDDXw3DRXZwHRZGxA1pS9L6iKdlZTpxyhQhydqTL76125UCKqw/s1600/120723_scone_mocha_img_3770_40.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5dbPy7G72X4MZj6UXTABm1fxX4Ya9WEbfo_l0hZ67Kt2fk_XxPRQxI5HZdig2DRQSD4o8DEaqgduCY7_pzC6mzxQahCFDDXw3DRXZwHRZGxA1pS9L6iKdlZTpxyhQhydqTL76125UCKqw/s320/120723_scone_mocha_img_3770_40.jpg" width="320" /></a>Confections, I would order, were I free. <br />
And with my neighbor I can gladly share; </div>
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A lovely cupcake, frosted. Even glazed, <br />
And sip a sweetened latte for the prize<br />
Of friendship, as we speak of daily news.<br />
The sugar in our veins begins to drive</div>
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<br />
Our heartbeats to a quicker stronger pace,<br />
The other customers who can observe<br />
Remark of frosting smeared about our mouths.<br />
The room with sucrose aided sight does glow</div>
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<br />
It seems the world itself has been refueled <br />
And smiling, shaking hands as we depart,<br />
Perhaps a friendly hug to seal the day; <br />
We only have to keep a secret pact: <br />
<span style="background-color: white;">To not divulge the content of our snack </span></div>
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We both agree, "Good cupcakes make good neighbors." <br />
<br /></div>Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-82226206608796700502011-08-11T10:24:00.000-07:002012-08-10T22:51:07.507-07:00Feeding the Flame<div align="center" class="MsoBodyText" style="margin-top: 6pt; text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"The Student" </span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>- </i>From <i>Candle Light</i></span></div>
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The Old Man awoke to a new day and a new sound.</div>
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For him, sleeping had become more of a habit in recent years. When he was younger, he recalled, days would pass while he was in alignment in which he did not require the sleeping state. This was not to say that meditation was not needed. When one is in alignment, much can be accomplished with well chosen posts in the arcs of day and night; posts to achieve the meditative condition. Differing from sleep - when one loses consciousness - the meditative provides a markedly sharper awareness of ones surroundings.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPJO4omuK4KsNpNN5I6WRF_4BQp9o7WIm0oDyu3elkaq_xDFXOFu72qPIplXNyVsXxwDNpU4UhU_VbYhCTj1ilEMPqa7HipkPRUP74TXPlmJjJqtB12y07K4KdGEXxhbwPZmBs9oS10Ike/s1600/a_new_day_in_the_valley_android_wallpaper-t1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPJO4omuK4KsNpNN5I6WRF_4BQp9o7WIm0oDyu3elkaq_xDFXOFu72qPIplXNyVsXxwDNpU4UhU_VbYhCTj1ilEMPqa7HipkPRUP74TXPlmJjJqtB12y07K4KdGEXxhbwPZmBs9oS10Ike/s1600/a_new_day_in_the_valley_android_wallpaper-t1.jpg" /></a></div>
However, as he aged, he allowed more time for the frivolity of a more traditional sleep cycle. The Old Man discovered sublime entertainment in the whimsy of dreams.</div>
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As with the evening, morning time in the Valley had its own backdrop and soundtrack. The pink and lavender clouds drifted above as an advance guard clearing paths through star laden darkness as sky began to take on the light of the approaching Day. The sunrise chorus of birdsong struck up a lively tune to greet it. The damp, cool, jasmine tinted breeze picked up the beat and swirled about as the temperature began to rise. The patch of wild rosemary nearby donated what it could to the sensual feast. The Sun would not show itself to the floor of the Valley for an hour or so, but the western ridge soon began to announce its approach by catching and broadcasting its golden issue to all who had eyes and would see. The season was summer and there would be plenty of sunshine for everyone today.</div>
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All these things were as they always are. Today, however, something new approached. “Not new,” thought the Old Man as he went about his morning routine, “Different.” He turned his attention toward the eastern slope. He could hear voices coming from one of the encampments along the Gateway Path; that which lead through to what most people would call “Civilization”. </div>
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One voice was that of The Sentry. His calling was as a sculptor. He had come to the Valley for seclusion, to quietly create, as he was able, objects in the art of form and substance. He often had need to travel to the outside world for his livelihood. Hence, though he called the Valley his home, his was also the closest dwelling to the outside world. And so, by default, he became The Sentry. </div>
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Another voice, that of a young man, both familiar and strange, echoed with a hints of nostalgia, tinted with defiance and a bit of remorse. He was introducing himself and a travelling companion to The Sentry, but he was obscuring a full disclosure of his true identity. The Sentry’s voice rang with a dissonant harmonic. He believed he recognized the young man, but his conscience was not aware of it as yet. It was not long before The Old Man heard The Sentry accede passage to the travelers. </div>
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At this time the third voice was heard. A boy’s voice said, “Thank you.” It was a small voice full of wonder and trust, unblemished with the world; yet the words echoed throughout the Valley, travelling on the dissipating morning mists as though they had been amplified by artificial means. This was followed soon after by the footfall of the pair as they descended on the path. Again, The Old Man noticed that the adult’s steady pace and measured stride had a knowing confidence, while the youthful one followed along behind him pausing just a little bit every few meters to drink in the vistas, to inhale the beauty, to be amazed; then rushing to catch up. </div>
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The Old Man went about the tasks of preparing for their arrival. </div>
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The full light of the day reached the floor of the Valley simultaneously with the travelers. They emerged from the foliage at the base of the path and approached the Old Man’s lodge. A few meters from the entrance, they stopped and waited silently. Apparently the adult knew of the Old Man’s custom of answering first to the Seeker who does not knock. Patience is rewarded more richly than ambition. He was not disappointed. The lodge door swung open almost immediately revealing its inhabitant: tanned and lean but not gaunt, shockingly white hair in a barely tamed mane above a peaceful visage, truck-sack slung over his shoulder; it was the Teacher whom they had traveled so far to see. The younger one gulped down some anticipation. </div>
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The Old Man approached them.</div>
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“Hello, Joshua,” he said, extending both hands in a gesture of welcome and acceptance.</div>
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“It’s good to see you too, Dad,” said the young adult. “I’ve brought you a new student. I’d like you to meet your grandson, Caleb.”</div>
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“Caleb,” said the Old Man, “I am very pleased to meet you.” He offered his right hand for the boy to take it; which he did, vigorously pumping the Old Man’s arm up and down for a moment. Then, thinking better of it, he downshifted to a lower gear.</div>
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The Teacher laughed. “Come inside, both of you. I’ve made some breakfast. You must be hungry from your journey,” he said, ushering them in to the coolness of the lodge, as now the Sun was approaching its highest point in the sky. </div>
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The boy immediately saw the bowl of fresh apples and apricots that his grandfather had placed on a large rough hewn table in the center of the lodge. A silent glance toward his father secured for him the permission to indulge in their sweet juices.</div>
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The two fathers stayed behind to converse without the young one hearing. Nearly a decade had passed since words were spoken between them, yet they had not parted with animosity. In fact, their minds had often touched during the ensuing years. Audible words are not the real communication of the soul, both men knew this. It was to be one of the lessons the young boy would soon be learning. Therefore their conversation began in the middle of a thought, preliminaries were not necessary. </div>
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“He is ready?” asked the Old Man.</div>
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“He believes he is,” replied Joshua.</div>
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“Then we shall see,” said the Teacher, “He is taller than you were at his age.”</div>
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“He has been fed better than I was.”</div>
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“You mean he has been fed <i>more</i> than you were,” corrected the Old Man, “I’m sure I will have to teach him appetite control in his first lessons.” He watched as the youth consumed one of the apples. In truth, the boy showed some measure of regulation already in his habits. He had already exhibited politeness and respect while accompanying his father into the Valley. The stamina needed in pursuit of the long journey to the Valley proved the physical qualification.</div>
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Perhaps the boy was ready after all.</div>
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</div>Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-71398727825831590992011-08-04T09:04:00.000-07:002012-08-10T23:05:49.361-07:00Feeding the Flame<div align="center" class="MsoBodyText" style="margin-top: 6.0pt; text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Preparations" </span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>- </i>From <i>Candle Light</i></span></div>
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The cycle continued.</div>
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Still air cooled in the gathering dusk. The valley floor was already steeped in evening-tide, receiving a fresh misting of dew. While on the gentle slopes above, ridge-row trees stood flocked with liquid gold as the sun dipped below an unseen horizon. Inexorably, yet more swiftly than one would imagine, that shimmering aura slipped upward until the topmost leaves of the highest trees could no longer hold the day. </div>
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There was, for a moment, a sparkling silence: A complete absence of sound. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdtu0pGCXmoJSTIZXUjmsJcaK2CymyEFVOGQIwfxNDHx9p_krMUdo5O2G1-ANXPP5Ht6j98sK3RjqwIiosgK-JVXBB8rlS_BSFuOzLWIU13lLYFPksP9cEweD4KT0k6EtwVPHcEX_h7nO6/s1600/mL6933w.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdtu0pGCXmoJSTIZXUjmsJcaK2CymyEFVOGQIwfxNDHx9p_krMUdo5O2G1-ANXPP5Ht6j98sK3RjqwIiosgK-JVXBB8rlS_BSFuOzLWIU13lLYFPksP9cEweD4KT0k6EtwVPHcEX_h7nO6/s200/mL6933w.jpg" width="133" /></a>In that moment, when the entire earth was still, an Old Man - a Teacher – produced a small lacquered box from the truck sack that was perpetually slung over his shoulder. Sliding open its top, he withdrew one single match, then carefully closed the lid and replaced the box in his pouch. Crossing to a special river stone prepared especially for this one task, he ignited the phosphor and touched it to the wick of a large candle. He considered his action for a time, as he did for every action he took, holding the flame to the wick to make sure it was well lit. This duty done, he removed the match and extinguished it in a small bowl of white sand. Then he turned to face up the valley and watched as one by one, other camps scattered about the surrounding hills winked into illumination as their inhabitants, too, lighted their lamps in like manner to add their glow to the approaching night. </div>
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A cricket sang. A nightingale joined in chorus. The residents of the nearby river struck a frog-like chord and a twilight overture began. It was a prelude; one that promised to swell to symphonic proportions as the evening progressed.</div>
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He set about his preparations. First was his evening meal. </div>
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His diet, half by necessity and half by choice, had evolved from a meat dense youthful voraciousness towards one laced only sparsely with once motive proteins. The volume of his repast was now those vegetative offerings from the well-tended community fields in the terraces by the river. The river, its waterfall, and the mountain spring that spawned them never quite dried, even in the worst of summer heat. Tonight’s bill of fare was to be one of green legumes and sweet yellow tubers. Neither were attention critical to prepare, and it would not diminish their nutritional value significantly if he did not consume them immediately.</div>
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There were other preparations to make this evening. </div>
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The Old Man knew there were visitors coming to the valley. One was a student. One was a seeker. And there were more to follow behind them who would decide the outcome of a storm. It was not the weather that concerned him - it was the why. </div>Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-45647978150454553162011-08-02T22:12:00.000-07:002012-08-10T23:09:14.593-07:00Feeding the Flame<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin-top: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: small;"></span></span><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"The Coin" </span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>- </i>From </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Candle Light</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">The Old Man held a coin in the air, letting its gleam fall across the boy's eager eyes. "What does this mean to you?" he asked?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Why, Teacher," began the lad, "it's a coin. One uses it to buy things."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Exactly," said the Old Man. "What manner of thing can it buy?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">The boy answered, "With enough of them, it can buy anything, everything!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Can it be used to do good?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Oh, yes! It certainly can."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgglegyYKqQ7wD7qZFBKBwByiJEKPPQ5vVXj6unJpARWHGA607BL-GA-ysA8BPPW101IKe1RwAHO7_vUqwrLofEsUVKP9LRkh9Kcg8UgccJUi8CHKeL0OK9Ia84235mp5dwjjrnuJKYpKJ0/s1600/coin_toss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgglegyYKqQ7wD7qZFBKBwByiJEKPPQ5vVXj6unJpARWHGA607BL-GA-ysA8BPPW101IKe1RwAHO7_vUqwrLofEsUVKP9LRkh9Kcg8UgccJUi8CHKeL0OK9Ia84235mp5dwjjrnuJKYpKJ0/s200/coin_toss.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Evil?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Yes Teacher, it can be used for that in the wrong hands."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Then, we have discovered that one coin can be used for either good or evil...the same coin...the only difference is by whom it is used." The old one tossed the coin in the air, flinging it with his thumb so that it turned rapidly over and over. A ringing like a small bell reverberated through the valley.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Imagine that this coin is named TRUTH: one side of it represents good, the other side represents evil. Which side would you pick?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"The good side, of course," offered the boy, puffing up his chest as if to say, <i>“I know the right answer to THAT question!”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">The coin landed on the soft ground. Its ringing fell silent. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Look at the coin," instructed the Teacher, "which side is showing?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">The boy didn't answer. He had no way to tell which was which.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">The Old Man laughed at the confused expression on the young boy’s face, "Don't worry, Caleb! It's the good side - because you are the one who chose it."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</div>Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-8501669206094876922011-07-29T14:24:00.000-07:002012-08-10T23:14:26.888-07:00Why do cars have ski racks in Los Angeles?<div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Originally posted to Facebook: June 2, 2011</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The snow pack in the High Sierra is impressive this year. Memorial Day saw 8” of snowfall on Mammoth Mountain, so they are extending Winter until mid June. They can do that. It is good for Business.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is fantastic news for drought stricken Southern Californians. It is even better news for that hardy species of animal that defies the odds against its survival and continues to dwell here: The Snow-crested Spandex-breasted Alpine Skier. In the city, I will occasionally spot one of them in a workout room or on an apartment balcony using a ski emulation device, engaged in their fascinating, indigenous behavior patterns. It is not their natural habitat though, and I can see they would rather be somewhere else.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There are two sub-species of which I am familiar: the Cross-Country Skier and its more colorful cousin, the Downhill Skier. I have experienced both, and my preference is well defined. Myself, I prefer the cross-country flavor.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Cross-country skiing is much less crowded with people, more civilized and it is a healthy, breathtaking, head-clearing pastime. While skiing cross-country, I have seen more than my share of picture postcard views.</span></div>
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<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There's the one with the new snowfall barely covering a set of Lehigh Valley RR tracks which stretch out into the distance, converging in a single invisible point in space beyond a whited-out horizon.</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...The one with the old covered bridge at the edge of town that spans a someday-it’s-going-to-be-a gorge. The trickle of a stream beneath it is frozen into stillness until a January Thaw arrives. </span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...The one with the powdery canopy of morning mist blending into marshmallow puffed hills before you and below. The only demarcation between the two is a stand of perfect pine trees along a ridge at the intersection of land and sky.</span></li>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">These are all indelibly archived in my memory and signed, "Glad you were here."</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Also in that archive, and signed in a different, sinister hand are memories of a harsher kind:</span></div>
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<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">…The time I was pitching in a softball game and was smashed in the face by a line drive. I went down like a sack of potatoes, they say. (In actuality this is not so much a memory of the event than of the painful aftermath.)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">…That other time I fell out of the rafters of a rural Michigan Barn Theatre after stepping on a broken crosspiece. I remember it in slow motion, just like in the movies. I do not, however, remember anything immediately after landing face down on the stage. Once again, I was “read in” by others recanting the tale.</span></li>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">…And then there was the time I went Downhill Skiing.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCoYuox8ePVDRO3MBtrEvN4PlyDWzIKupO_0buvg29qfQ9I97dz_JSB36bz3LMClRBEwegZSgGWBgRX2wktLJcD1OKoo_f2Gis1Qkpouv91bhg797-ACvq9FUu0A8gT_iDmC9rQuhmvXfi/s1600/3rd_climb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCoYuox8ePVDRO3MBtrEvN4PlyDWzIKupO_0buvg29qfQ9I97dz_JSB36bz3LMClRBEwegZSgGWBgRX2wktLJcD1OKoo_f2Gis1Qkpouv91bhg797-ACvq9FUu0A8gT_iDmC9rQuhmvXfi/s320/3rd_climb.jpg" width="320" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was many years ago. I was living in Boston, and it was early in the season at Killington, in Vermont. A friend thought it would be a good idea to get me on skis for the first time in my (so far) 23 years. I deferred to him and went along. What the heck. What did I have to lose? I was young. I was adventuresome. I had not yet been hit in the face with a line drive hit back to the pitcher.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It started with the money. First we had to pay for parking, then our lift tickets. Then we rented boots, skis, and poles. Before we even approached the lift I was into this thing for $30 bucks or so. And that’s in 1976 dollars.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The only run that was open was an intermediate one. I would have liked to have seen what an expert slope looked like, because this one was already looking straight up and down to me. Riding up on the lift was peaceful enough, much like I imagined the walk into the blinding light of what-waits-beyond would be, as we pass from this life to the next. I dared only to peek down past my feet, which were dangling five stories above what was sure to be solid granite covered by a thin coat of crusty snow. I spent most of the trip admiring everything I could see at eye level and above. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Stepping off the lift that first time was stepping off into outer space. I was looking for a tether, a pressure suit, and a breathing apparatus. At least I wanted assurances that I could abort the mission if something went wrong. None were offered.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh, did I mention that nobody even suggested that it was a good idea to take, oh I don’t know, a lesson or two before even attempting this insane thing I was about to do?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I pushed away from the lift. Maybe “launched” is a better word.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There is, as it appears, a ritual embedded in learning to ski. There is pain involved, and one is required to maintain the appearance of having “fun” throughout the ordeal. It is not unlike how a fraternity pledge brother is supposed to fain solemnity as he is being painted with warm peanut butter. It is a rite of passage.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I discovered immediately that my first trip down the slope was to be spent primarily in the prone position, arriving in the prone position as forcefully as possible. I achieved this result by throwing my feet up in the air every twenty seconds or so and landing flat on my back. It was involuntary, and it hurt a lot; until I remembered to distribute my weight over more area by executing what I called the “Dead Eagle” maneuver. It was the same as a “Spread Eagle” only - you know - dead. I got pretty good at that. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That first descent took about a half hour to reach the K-1 Lodge at the bottom. Maybe it was a record. I didn’t care. I was ready to pack it in and spend the rest of the day healing in the lounge. Looking cool and sipping toddies in the lounge with a Ski-Babe was what I had heard this whole skiing thing was about anyway. Right?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not according to my friend, who had been waiting for me to finish my first run and was raring to go again. It wasn’t too hard to talk me into it. Remember, I had already spent an entire day's wages to pay for the fun I was supposed to be having. So, now I was intent on getting my money’s worth. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was surprised at how much better things seemed on the second run. Not enough to get cocky about it, but I was experiencing a little giddiness at times. About three-quarters of the way down I had only fallen three times and had discovered the “snow plow” to keep things more in control, when I heard a voice behind me yell something that sounded like, “SKI!”</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Well,” I thought, “that’s pretty rude,” and I turned, about to shout something childish toward where I thought the voice had come. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It turns out that “Ski!” in this case was not an insult but a warning – much like the word “Fore!” when it is shouted on a golf course means someone has hit a ball in your direction, or the word “Heads!” when barked on stage means something has been dropped from above. Of course in all cases, it seems to me that a more standard word like “Duck!” would work just as well, seeing as how those, like myself, who were new at the game would take less time to translate the word to an action. Nonetheless its meaning was immediately self-evident. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Someone ski had disengaged from its owner and become a low flying projectile on the slope above me. It hit a mogul and launched itself directly at my head, homing in on the bridge of my nose. As comical as your mind’s eye can make this appear now, it was not so funny to me at the time. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I understood.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I remembered the “Dead Eagle” maneuver I perfected on my first trip down the slope and performed it flawlessly: flat on back, arms outstretched, legs in the air - just in time to watch the ski sail over me, between my feet, a missile in search of another target.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After that, there wasn’t any reason not to hit the lounge and look cool for the Ski-Babes. </span></div>Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-35116685933161126862011-07-29T13:56:00.004-07:002021-12-02T16:11:48.075-08:00What if there was a phone menu to choose the “On Hold Music” we had to listen to?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIEtmpYDm6ORpkuzIPHm9LF2mLLjldQ4QdudoX28GOAOLU2xu5QoandNdR4xEqMV6sS_LoKfXFv-4S70Tc4dlziD8XAwQdC3Zm3R4fYHzBhsPOBFrOB7EfwLO05n05yBuu4Ae_urW14zBk/s1600/black_phone.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="124" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIEtmpYDm6ORpkuzIPHm9LF2mLLjldQ4QdudoX28GOAOLU2xu5QoandNdR4xEqMV6sS_LoKfXFv-4S70Tc4dlziD8XAwQdC3Zm3R4fYHzBhsPOBFrOB7EfwLO05n05yBuu4Ae_urW14zBk/w185-h124/black_phone.jpg" width="185" /></a>
“Thank you for calling the offices of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Like We Really Care Anyway</b>… We’d like you to think your call is very important to us. Please hold, and a representative will be with you as soon as we can find one that isn’t too busy pretending to work on someone else’s problem. </div>
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“Your On Hold Music menu follows. Please listen carefully because our selections sometimes change before we get to the end of the menu. “</div>
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<span style="font-family: "symbol";">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Press 1, for Innocuous Elevator Music that has been scientifically chosen to offend nobody but anyone who actually likes music.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "symbol";">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Press 2, for Distorted Unrecognizable Sounds that can be mistaken for music if you tilt your head and cup one ear like this.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "symbol";">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>For Hard Rock, Press 11.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "symbol";">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>For Metal Rock, Press the same number repeatedly very hard.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "symbol";">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>For Lawrence Welk’s Greatest Hits, Press a 1 and a 2 and a…</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "symbol";">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>For Bluegrass Music, Press any number and accompany it with a banjo.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "symbol";">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>For Broadway Showtunes, Press 5-6-7-8!</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "symbol";">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>For Jazz, choose 4 numbers and press them sequentially in any order for 1 minute. Then<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> press #.</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "symbol";">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>For New Age, Press 0 and let go.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "symbol";">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>For The Zen Meditation Channel, Press 1 with all the other numbers.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "symbol";">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>For Country, Press 1 then 2 then 3 then 1 again – then hit the bottle.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "symbol";">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>For the Blues, Same as Country Music only throw a 9 in it.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "symbol";"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "symbol";"><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "symbol";">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>For Reggae, don’t worry – just spark one up and let the music come.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "symbol";">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>For Classical, Press 8883-2221</div>
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"Again, your call really couldn’t mean less to us, but we’ll pick up eventually. Please stay on the line and let the music settle over you. The time should pass quickly. And who knows? Maybe you’ll think of the answer to your question which should have been obvious in the first place and you won’t need to hold any more. "</div>
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Good Bye.<br />
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Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1393421019196955211.post-69424285863607592622011-07-29T12:20:00.000-07:002012-08-10T23:20:56.000-07:00Some say the world will end in Fire...Inconveniently<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
When it's this hot like this, I remember a "Twilight Zone" episode called "The Midnight Sun" - The Earth had somehow gotten out of orbit and was moving inexorably closer to the Sun and we were all doomed. At least that's what we are lead to believe until the "gotcha" a the end that showed the whole thing was all an hallucination and the exact opposite was true and we were spinning AWAY from the Sun... and we were all doomed.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8-CCn8qrxbH2Dwg0ptrF5nNqCxxOzJSgj-KfR2jHPtqlyz4xpU5w4rFZDpEyLQjZaJfv6N6hX3E-LszeIy8NU_fTc5g6ANZbEjlTKrvZi80O7li3JWxp40h-u33wy6Vid8TPpgNX66Dl9/s1600/32-icefire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8-CCn8qrxbH2Dwg0ptrF5nNqCxxOzJSgj-KfR2jHPtqlyz4xpU5w4rFZDpEyLQjZaJfv6N6hX3E-LszeIy8NU_fTc5g6ANZbEjlTKrvZi80O7li3JWxp40h-u33wy6Vid8TPpgNX66Dl9/s200/32-icefire.jpg" width="140" /></a>- Some say the world will end in Fire. Some say in Ice. ~Robert Frost -</div>
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I remember the Female Artist (Main Character) had painted a picture of a waterfall she remembered from childhood to help her to feel cooler. (For the Ithacans in the crowd, it was most likely Taughannock Falls since Rod Serling lived near Trumansburg, NY.)</div>
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Anyway. I'm thinking about waterfalls.</div>
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And Global Warming</div>Brother Tomassohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00759311571408445628noreply@blogger.com0