Thursday, November 22, 2012

Foul It Is, to be Raised For a Glutton's Feast

(Blatantly Stolen from FaceBook)

Foul it is, to
be raised... so,
that gluttons might
feast; on, but the white
of my breast... while,
they toss the rest!

Millions and millions,
force fed to burst; such
a shame, as a pheasant
or Cornish game hen... would
provide, more that enough...
meat, and gristle; to satiate
even, the most finicky of

Then, there's potatoes, and
yams; steamed and boiled to
distraction, while the "cook" makes
themselves sick; drinking cooking sherry
by the gallon!

Green bean casserole; it's Gramma's
favorite... though, year after year; all
the guests, just hated it! With, carmelized
onions; that "look" like worms, so the
kids tease each other... then, feed
them... to the dog!

The potatoes mashed, always taste
"burned to a crisp"; "but honey,
that's the best part... just
bite down, chew, and swallow it!"

Is it, cranberry jellied; or, more like a
chutney? Guess, I'll just have plenty of
both... and, let the fickle ones; decide on
their own flacid gluttony!

There's always a fight, for the
drumsticks for two... Maybe, someday...
the growers, will develop a turkey
with six to a bird; just for the sake of
making the food pugilists happy!

Gravy, always comes in two styles...
cold, clammy, and greasy... or, tasteless,
clumpy and lumpy; tasting, alternately...
of grease or of pork!

Stuffing, stuffing, who wants stuffing... goes
the cry 'cross the table; there's just a little that
was in the bird, but several oven baked pans...

Hey! Keep those OFF the table! Then, there's
corn and peas; in separate bowls... that,
make the kids always giggle; as they roll off
the table!

Then, there's dinner rolls; and both sweet
and salt butter tabs... take more than two
per roll, and "suffer extra holes in belts, and
double roll abs!"

Sweet potatoes, baked with marshmallow clumps;
look like "dead eyes", staring into the void... oh,
what a ghostly repast!

So... what did I forget, besides the desert treats?
Somebody please tell me, before somebody blesses
this feast!

Oh, beverages... help yourself... There's glasses, on
a separate table; along with silver bowls filled with
ice; "please! USE the tongs!" There's sodas and wines,
and juices galore; please "pour slowly"... don't want, a
sticky floor!

Somebody please, say grace... then "help yourself"! I'm
already full, 'cause I tasted everything; while playing at
gourmet chef! Breeeeep! Oooops! I'm just saluting all
of you'res health! *Sigh! L'triptophan, lead me to sleep!*


2012 Copyright Zed Null & Word Hack, Ltd.
Feel free to copy and share, provided nothing is changed; and this accreditation remains attached!

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Yes, Abigael, it WILL all be over soon.

For those of you who are not one of the 1.6 million viewers of a YouTube video starring a 4-year-old Colorado girl named Abigael Evans, who awww'd us all with her tearful lament that she was "Tired of [the coverage of] 'Bronco Bama' and Mitt Romney" on National Public Radio - here's what you missed:

Her mother is heard on the video to be attempting to console the child by telling her that the election will be over soon. It calms her a little.

Show Tracker of the Los Angeles Times reports young Abby's spirits have further been bolstered by none other than NPR correspondent Mark Memmott himself, who wrote on the organization's website, "On behalf of NPR and all other news outlets, we apologize to Abigael and all the many others who probably feel like her. We must confess, the campaign's gone on long enough for us, too. Let's just keep telling ourselves: 'Only a few more days, only a few more days, only a few more days.'"

The Times goes on to say that NPR also sent the girl an NPR politics pin, which, according to a reporter from NPR station KUNC, seems to have cheered the girl up tremendously.

I suppose, in that sentiment, we can all take solace.

It feels as though it has been a lifetime since April 21, 2011 when Gary Johnson announced - on Twitter no less - "I am running for president." He was the first to declare and the fourth to eventually leave what was to become a field of twelve Republican candidates writhing their way toward the GOP convention more than a year and a half later. For the record, the rest of the names were - in order of their entry into the race - Cain, Gingrich, Paul and Pawlenty; Romney, Santorum, Bachmann and Huntsman; McCotter, Perry and Roemer. Some fell quickly. Others were tripped up later. Before reaching the Convention at Tampa, all but Paul and Romney had fallen along the road.

After 478 days of campaigning for the GOP nomination for President of the United States, two men entered "Tampa-Dome". One man left: Willard Mitt Romney.

478 Days!  And that was only to the Republican Convention.  There was still nearly 3 months to go before election day.  All in all, 565 days will have been spent literally brawling for the chance to go up against "Bronco Bama" for President.  That's almost half the time poor Abby's been here on this planet!

I haven't even mentioned how much time Mr. Obama has had to take away from his duties as the leader of the free world to meet the challenge brought by the opposition, and keep his job.  

(And thank you SCOTUS for making it even more like blood-sport by adding that little wrinkle of the so-called "Citizen's United" decision.  You just couldn't leave bad enough alone without adding UNLIMITED corporate funding to the election stew.  As if we, living our shabby little lives, needed more incentive to believe we were completely impotent in the ability control our own political destiny.  That the government of the People, by the People, and for the People survives only because its it's the Corporations who are the People.)

Oh, let's not forget the whole "early voting" thing.

Anyway - yes, Abigael, it will all be over soon. Next Tuesday is Election Day and that's when the counting begins.

Of course when, the counting will end is anyone's guess at the moment. Both camps are lawyering up rather heavily. Something akin to the Y2K Bush v. Gore mishegoss could happen again this year if the legal eagles have anything to say about it. But that's another very long story...

All we can do is all we can do. Turn out. Bring your ID with you even if you don't think it's necessary. Pull the lever. Fill in the dot. Touch the screen. Punch the chad - all the way through!  Vote!  Get 'er done!

And when it's all over, and Abby can listen to her programs again, by the time she's six the whole thing starts all over again.

Ain't democracy grand?